Thread: Embarrassment

Originally Posted by Ausfree

Heeyyyy!! thats enough out of you!! Jeez, its a shocking morning this morning weatherwise, rain, wind and cold!!!!
Hey Banj, how are things today, I will be working all day so I won't be on the internet until sometime tomorrow!!!!

Still the same unfortunatly . . . . . . .

Can I suggest a positive course of action, to get you away from thinking negatively.

Sit down with an A4 page. Write, "Reasons why I love my partner and family" across the top. Divide the page into two columns. Write your name at the top of the left hand column.
Sit down and spend as long as it takes listing every possible positive reason why you love them. Put in everything, no matter how small. Turn the page over and keep writing until you've finished.

Now, ask Karen for a date. Make a time when you both have at least 2 hours of completely free time, with no kids or any distractions. Don't tell her why, just ask her to be free at that time.
At the time, sit her down and say you're not a good talker so you've made a list. Ask her to read the whole list and fill out the column for herself. Offer to make her a cuppa or whatever she likes while she completes it. Then leave her alone. Tell her to let you know when she's finished. Go outside and wait.

And a couple of ground rules:
1. If she's talking, shut up and listen. Do not interrupt.
2. You may only say positive things from the list. All negative statements are banned. Only speak positive.

You may think this is a bit unusual, but I guarantee if you give it a try you will be pleasantly surprised.

Also, try to compare the negative fears you're expressing with the real positives you will write on the list. The negatives are only future possibilities - they haven't happened yet - they're not real now, and they don't have to ever happen. The good news is you have the power to prevent them from ever becoming real.
By comparison, the positives you will write on the list are real now - they are not future possibilties - they are present reality. They are real now.
So you have a choice - to concentrate on future negative possibilitieis, and so maybe cause them to happen - or to focus on present positive realities, and to reinforce them and extend them in the future.

The power to shape your future is yours. You have the power. Use it positively.

Oh, I'm a praying man, so that's what I'll be doing for you all.

Originally Posted by banjo

And if we can work it out i would like her to go over to vickies for a night once a month to chill watch dvd's or just get drunk by herself & to now worry about us here as we will be ok.....

Please, you both should try to avoid getting drunk. Many who get drunk do things that they regret later, so try to avoid alcohol--it really does not help. Too many things people later regret are done under the influence of alcohol.

Those who drink to forget often find the alcohol helps them remember bad things, that they would otherwise have forgotton about.

Try to keep in mind that things can get better, and your kids love you both.

Try to pray about this, and I know this may be hard for you to do. Like disco mick I will be praying for you.

"And the prayer of faith shall save the sick [even those who a mentally sick], and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much." James 5:15-16.

Originally Posted by banjo

i wanna die so Karen & the kids can be happy

That's just it mate they would NOT be happy if you did. You'll have to have another idea cos that one ain't gunna work.

Originally Posted by banjo

I have let everyone down...

That's what you'll do if you keep that thinking up.

Each day is a new day and you live one day at a time. Making this one better than the last. Leave behind tha things you can not change - and if they are that bad ask forgiveness for them by truly saying sorry.

Keep talking to us mate so that together the rest on the forum can keep helping you like we have so far.

He hasn't been here since early yesterday so I think he won't be here for while

I don't have his phone number..but in saying that if you all ring may put pressure on him..hard to tell what to do... maybe we wait and see for a couple of days...hope it works out for the two of them


Mrs hh

G'day everyone sorry for the delay had & got more inportant things on my mind . . . . .

Mick if i started to wright the good things i will still be going in another 23 years......


John i never pray & i meen no offence to anyone about it...


Karen & i have been talking .....

Originally Posted by banjo

Karen & i have been talking .....

Good place to start - but also make sure you are listening.

Thinking of you both.

OK this is where we are at , & yes it is my fault its at this stage , But i can fix this with some help & i have know idea as to how any of use can do to help... Years ago i was doing everything with karen everything, Well around here shopping & running around.. Now i do nothing because i get moody & bored & just use the excuse of a bad day there for Karen has to carry all the weight on her sholders...
Now karen has said that there must be something here for her as she is still here & she didn't act on her feeling...
She is having so much trouble in trusting me that this wont happen again & i stuff her over which i don't blame her , I do promise to make as much effort to win her love & trust back..
Now you locals can explain this , Karen has told me that she would be happy if i can do the running around with her around here as we realy don't have to go far for this. as everything we need is at Cardiff or Warners bay & i can get to these places without to much trouble & she would like me to go with her to help instead of her going in & out like a blue assed fly by herself, Share the load..& she will do anything out of my reach.
& she told me that even if i was to go & get my own smokes on my own sometimes would make a big differance as she would be very happy to just sit on the lounge by herself for the 10 mins without worrying about me or having to go out again some normality is what she wants & that is what she is going to get no mater what it takes & i will be making all the sacrefices this time not her ..
I have told Karen i realy don't need her to worry about me now BUT this is very hard for her to do after so long doing it..
So i have told her yes it is going to change & yes i am going to do it & keep it up .
& karen will still do any running around to the places i cant get to for now but i want to do this aswell with some time..
I have told Karen that she needs to make time for herself away from me to go out for lunch with Vickie or one of the other ladies she knows & even if she wants to go & stay over at Vickies for a night & watch girly movies & what not by her self no kids & no me & to not worry about us here as we will be fine & if we aren't i will ring Aus or Grockle, Fluids ,Drifter or some one just to say G'day so i don't think of it....
Now Karen is worried that if i have a bad day instaed of me getting over it in just a couple of days that i will relaps back to what it was , & i promise to do everything i can to avoid this from happening.. BUT she did say that yes she does realise i am going to have some bad days & is fine with that but if it started to look like it was heading south it could be realy bad . . . .
Now for the last 2 days i have run Karen everywhere & i even had a conversation with her boss for an hour , Today i went & picked up the papers & went to a beauty shop thingy with Karen to book in for a waxy thing & i have realy realy enjoyed it...

I would like to ask use to help me with some stuff as i have know idea as to what to do by myself never had to & i don't know about going out on my own going to get smokes is one thing but actualy going & doing something by myself is realy frightning as what if i say go to Aus's place on my own what if i just say G'day & leave ?
Anyone got anything i can do for them around here a bit latter Hey maybe i could take Aus for a drive somewhere close in a real landy,Hope you have a kidney belt Aus..

The only thing i am worried about is the feelings Karen has for this bloke is that she is booked in for next tuesday at 2pm to get the other side done & i'm scared that her feelings mite grow for him as he will be right up in her face to do the tattoo so yeah a little worried & yes i do TRUST Karen.. But i will not tell her she can't go back there because i cant after what she has done for me & if i did this she would rezent me for doing this.. & she has asked that i not get in touch with him myself & i respect her wishes but i am a little scared ...& like she said how many weman would tell there husbands about the feelings till it was time to tell him to hit the curb . . . . .

Karen is sitting on the floor next to me & she told me she is relaxed & i have seen her smile for the first time in a long while & its great....

She needs her time to sort it out in her head she says so i am trying to leave her alone ,Hard to do as i just want to hold her..

Tomorrow we have to go & deliver the papers as we didn't get them done so we will be out doing this for a bit then i am going down to get my smokes hopfully by myself as we finish the papers in our street so i can get my car & go get them & thats all we have to do & Karen said she would probably like to just sit at home speicaly if its raining...

I think i did a stupid thing yesterday i asked Karen to marry me again cause the funny thing is when Vickie called in on the weekend she is the nurse well one of her doctor friends wife is a sellabrant & she found out that she would marry us for around $200 at home & i actualy have the money to do this for the first time ..But i realy do want to get married . . . .

Anyway i hope you post after reading this Karen . I hope i have got all this right.. AND i want to fix this properly & I will not let you down again . . . .


PS I love you so much Karen its not funny as much as i need air to breath . . .