Embarrassment

**banjo** · 5th March 2013, 04:51 PM

All my brothers & sisters bar one sister always just try to make me feel GUILTY so i do what they want me to do..Had a phone off one sister months ago saying ,just been up to see dad he is bad Dont think he will last long.I'm not saying you have to go see him or anything & im not going to say well ya should of gone & seen him if he dies or anything. It went on like that for half an hour..Then when i didnt go see him she posted crap on my facepage thing about how it takes a bigger man to say soory & forgiveness **** ...****ed if i know what to do thats all they ever do to me NOT one of them have ever acknoweged i have a problem cause he said its just in his ****ing head or its that bitches fault meaning Karen..Karen & i have enough going on at the moment here we are only just scrapping through every week & only just.Plus now i have this ****ing **** going on in my head cause if i dont go see him i'm going to be the biggest ****ing ***** on earth & i'm sure they are all going to let me know TOO.The rent & the bills are killing Karen & I. Plus we both hate this house so much & our ****ty lives so much,, Like Karen says saying our lives are pathetic is just being nice..**** i wake up every morning & go **** me i woke up again Cause i sure as **** dont want to..I cant finish Harry cause we just cant afford it..Just had the rego on Freds car , Mine is due next month & needs tyres & i have to try & get tyres close to the original size ones of 7.50 X 16. which are 32 X 11.5 X 15 so theres over a grand just there.Green slip is $420 have most of that..Our medication just keeps going up & i said if it keeps going up then i'll stop mine which should be ok as i keep forgetting to take the bloody things lately, I have to take 1 tablet 3 times a day.Most days i take 1 to 2 cause i forget to take em..Top that off with the rent going up groceries costing the bloody earth .Oh yeah plus we had to put 2 tyres on the little car did that this morning.Plus i have'nt been out in i dont know how long cause my car just doesnt have fuel cause we cant afford it & i hate small cars & freds is so small & low to the ground i just dont like it or feel comfortable in it..Plus i only go out in the mornings as that way i can do what ever i want at home all the rest of the day..Plus i only spend money if i go out & well we just dont have it so i dont go out..Plus i still have to rego the camper which will need a blue slip now & well we just dont have it so we wont be for awhile yet as we dont use it anyway..I have already sold my BANJO to pay bills & am starting to go through all my other stuff so is Karen with her stuff..I would give my left NUT to be able to work But who the hell is going to put someone on that has days like mine where i mite have to leave cause of a panic attack or i go hide for the same reason.I cant Garentee they wont happen & if i was at work i would probably have more & more regulary..I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH. Poor fred has most of my problems all because of ME she has inheruted them which kills me to see..Depression has been bad lately just trying to get through the days.

**banjo** · 5th March 2013, 05:26 PM

was bored today so i went & done this.Took forever to get it into the shed cause theres a lip to get over..

No machine work needed as its been rebuilt in the last 10 years i'd say.Pistons are +040 & everything else looks good so far..I was only going to take the clutch off but ended up going all out..Filled the day anyway..

**banjo** · 5th March 2013, 05:28 PM

I have to pull all the valves out of the head to see if its been done for unleaded..Hoping so ..

**banjo** · 5th March 2013, 05:36 PM

Karen did just say I did see him only weeks ago at a funeral .& i aproched him.

**Ausfree** · 5th March 2013, 05:51 PM

Wow, Jase, steady up mate, I understand because of the situation with your father, you are distressed, DO NOT SHOULDER ANY BLAME for what other people might think, as far as I am concerned, who gives a stuff anyway, tell them to go to hell, mate!!! John F is morally correct in suggesting you see your dad, but mate, it's your descision and who gives a **** what other people think, if you see him or not.

The IMPORTANT PEOPLE in your life are Karen and the kids, they need you and it's up to you to be there for them, no one else!!! Be a rock mate and stuff 'em all!!!

I'll be over at Easter sometime, love to have a look at the Landy motor!!

**Brian** · 5th March 2013, 06:12 PM

Originally Posted by banjo

Karen did just say I did see him only weeks ago at a funeral .& i aproched him.

Hey Jason.

Yes you did and IIRC, you said it wasnt a bad experience, and you came away from that feeling pretty good.
Like Jim said. its all up to you.

Remember, he is probably too ill to say too much, and it will stick in the rest of the families throats for a long while as they will not be expecting you to go. As JohnF said, a 5 min quick hello is all that is required.

Whatever your decision, you should know that all your friends here will support any decision you make.

kindest regards to all,
Brian

**banjo** · 6th March 2013, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by Ausfree

Wow, Jase, steady up mate, I understand because of the situation with your father, you are distressed, DO NOT SHOULDER ANY BLAME for what other people might think, as far as I am concerned, who gives a stuff anyway, tell them to go to hell, mate!!! John F is morally correct in suggesting you see your dad, but mate, it's your descision and who gives a **** what other people think, if you see him or not.

The IMPORTANT PEOPLE in your life are Karen and the kids, they need you and it's up to you to be there for them, no one else!!! Be a rock mate and stuff 'em all!!!

I'll be over at Easter sometime, love to have a look at the Landy motor!!

They look small in a landy but when there out they look like a bloody truck engine. There huge for a 4 cyl..Young Tony is on his way back to Australia .I'll leave it upto him to tell why if he wants people to know.Take care Tony & be safe MATE..

**Ausfree** · 7th March 2013, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by banjo

They look small in a landy but when there out they look like a bloody truck engine. There huge for a 4 cyl..Young Tony is on his way back to Australia .I'll leave it upto him to tell why if he wants people to know.Take care Tony & be safe MATE..

That doesn't sound good!!!

**banjo** · 8th March 2013, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by Ausfree

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That doesn't sound good!!!

Yeah i think he will be ok may just need some time .We all just need to keep an eye on him for depression , remember he said ages ago he suffers to.Well i think he will hit bottom before all is good..I like young Tony he is a nice kid.Well he must be he has landrovers to..Mite get him to bring his series 1 engine down in a few weeks & i'll rebuild it for him & he can help to , Mite keep him busy for a little while..

**Ausfree** · 8th March 2013, 03:18 PM

Tony appears to be a very sensible young man, Jason.

I hope all goes well, we all have setbacks in life and learn how to handle them!!

By the way, what's the latest on your dad????????

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