Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by bob10

A school inspector is sent to assess a Year 4 class in a local Brisbane State School.

Separation of church and state is a very good thing.

I went to a brisbane state school - we were forced to attend "lessons" by the government appointed chaplain.

Originally Posted by isuzurover

....

I went to a brisbane state school - we were forced to attend "lessons" by the government appointed chaplain.

...obviously had a good effect on you

A young man walked into the local dept of human services office to claim unemployment benefit. Finally gets to the counter and says, "Hi. You know, I just HATE having to take welfare..... I'd really rather have a job.... I don't like taking advantage of the system, it's sort of like getting something for nothing."

The girl at the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just heard about a job opening down at joblink from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'd also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy all her needs as the daughter is in her mid-20's.....

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're having me on !"



The girl at the counter said, "Yeah, well... You started it"

Just noticed this thread has 158,000 views!!!

congrats

It must be in the top 10 views for aulro??

keep smiling

fairly certain that some of the gymnasts in the pics thread would hold positions 1-10.

I treated the wife to one of those japanese fish pedicures the other day. I must say I'm very pleased with the results. Those piranhas don't mess about eh!!

I was asked the other day how long I have been married, I answered 24 years next week, The guy asked me what my secret was for a long marriage, I said I treated my wife well and took her on a big holiday to Thailand for our 12 anniversary, Thats wonderful he said and what are you doing next week for your 24th anniversay, Going back to Thailand to bring her home!

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay." The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!" On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"