Jokes

Dublin, in the 80's. An American and his wife are walking in the city, when the Wife spots an old man, sitting outside a pub, fishing line in hand, with the line dangling in a pothole in the road. The Woman whispers to her husband " Oh, that poor man. Obviously demented, we must extend the hand of friendship, and be nice to him. " Hubbie agrees."We will show him some American hospitality, " They take the confused old gent into the pub & buy him a whiskey. Then another. Hubbie cant help himself, he says " I see you are fishing, how many have you caught" [ trying to be nice. ]

" You are the eighth , " said the old fella, " now if you don't mind, I think I will bait up again".

Britain and America are in a head to head fight to see who can screw themselves over the worst. Britain is in the lead, but America has a trump card...

I tried to catch some fog, I mist.

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period.

Broken pencils are pointless.

Energiser Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.

The girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I have never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

Walking along the beach, a man found a bottle. He picked it up and rubbed it, when a genie popped out and said , you are granted one wish. He said he wanted to live forever. No, no, no, I can't grant you that wish. Then he said, I want to die when the they win the election and make Australia debt free. You cunning Ba?.. she said.

Posted 22 days ago post No. 3290

Plagiarism?:):)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by d2dave

Posted 22 days ago post No. 3290

Plagiarism?:):)

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No laziness, i only read the last page , SWMBO sent it to me ;)

Enjoy folk the election, tomorrow i start at 0500 a stock take, as least i have not seen any political waffle.

That joke is so old, it could be dead tomorrow. :p:angel:

How did our grandparents killed time when there were no Smartphones and Internet?


I already asked my mom, her seven sisters and nine brothers,


but no one seems to know.

Bobby Charlton was asked how he thought the England Team of '66 would have fared against Iceland.
"I think we'd have won 1-0" he replied.
"Only 1-0" said the Reporter.
"Yes" said Bobby. "Most of us are in our 70's now!"

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.
"I have an interesting case here," he says. A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.?
"Have you arrested her" asks the sergeant.
"No, not yet. The floor's still wet."