Thread: Jokes

When I did my Air Safety investigation Course in LA the bloke who taught photography was a Frank Snapp. He was an Cold War B52 pilot. I had a teacher called Wayne Kerr and I knew a Major Tournoff in the Army.

A 32 year old man was asked by his mate at the pub why he was still unmarried.

"Well" he replied, "I have found a few girls I would like to marry but when I take them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His mate said "Find a girl like your mother and you should be OK."

Next time they met, his mate asked "How did you go?"

"I followed your advice and found a girl like my mother," the man replied, "but when I took her home, my father didn't like her."

I once knew a nurse called Pain and a butcher by the name of Butcher.
Also knew a girl named Ophelia Bottoms and a bloke named Buster Hymen, but I don't know what career path either of them chose in later life.


Cheers, Mick.

Originally Posted by mick88

I once knew a nurse called Pain and a butcher by the name of Butcher.


Cheers, Mick.

I had a cancer removed from the side of my nose by a surgeon named Mr Butcher some years back.

His surgical skills were in keeping with his surname - it looked like he bit the bloody lump out with his teeth - you can still see the scar.

Highlighter pens are the future...

Mark my words.

Bit late for a Chrissy joke but anyway.

Three blokes on a Landy weekend accidentally drive off a lonely mountain road on Xmas Eve and are killed.

They rock up to the pearly gates and are greeted by St Peter who is dressed up in his party outfit and looking a bit worse for wear. It is obvious there is a party going on in heaven. St Peter says "If you want to come in you have to show me something in the Xmas spirit".

The first guy reaches into his pocket, pulls out a lighter. St Peter says "What's that"? He says "Xmas Candle" St Peter says "OK in you go"

Second bloke reaches in his pocket and pulls out his large set of keys and shakes them. He says "Jingle Bells" "In you go too" says St Peter.

"What about you"? he says to the third guy who is looking rather bemused. Suddenly he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a sexy hot pink G-String. St Peter says "What the hell have they got to do with Xmas".

The bloke says.............................................. ......"There Carols".

Originally Posted by Toxic_Avenger

I met a lady who works in facilities management (commercial cleaning). Surname bleachmore.

can we get her working on the gene pool?

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