Thread: Jokes

Spaciba tovarich. Dobryy den'.

thankyou friend something?

Originally Posted by Eevo

thankyou friend something?

Thankyou friend vodka?

DL

Originally Posted by Eevo

thankyou friend something?

It would have benn better spelt Dobryy den'= Good day.

SWMBO reckons I only have 2 faults.
The first is I don't listen &

some other thing she was prattling on about??

Jonesfam

The struggle is real.


A man is flying in a hot-air balloon and realizes he is lost.
He reduces height and spots a man below. He then lowers the balloon closer to the ground and shouts, "Excuse me! Can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot-air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says, "Well, you must be in management."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement
was terminated by the owner who wanted to reoccupy the home.
But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.
When he said, he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they
felt that the children would destroy the place.
He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie
we all know lawyers cannot and do not lie.

So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.
He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.
He loved one of the homes and the price was right -- the agent asked:
"How many children do you have?
He answered: "Twelve."
The agent asked, "Where are the others?"
The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look answered
“They're in the cemetery with their mother."

MORAL: It's not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words...
and don't forget, most politicians are lawyers...

Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower:

Mongrel, Coot and Bluey .
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly...
As the ambulance takes the body away,
Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.'

Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.

Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?'
'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'
'Well, not exactly,' Mongrel says.
'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow."
She said, 'You must be mistaken... I'm not a widow.'
Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are...'

Aussies are good at that sensitive stuff.