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Thread: Jokes

  1. #3541
    cuppabillytea's Avatar
    cuppabillytea is offline Loud Mouthed Rat Bag Gold Subscriber
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    Doesn't matter. Burn it.
    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.

  2. #3542
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    Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'

    Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

    Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think £5000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

    Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

  3. #3543
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    Confession

    An elderly man walks into a confessional... The following conversation ensues:

    Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

    Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

    Man: 'What sins?'

    Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

    Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

    Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

    Man: 'I'm 92 years old .... I'm telling everybody!
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

  4. #3544
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    Two Cannibals were eating a clown - one said to the other "dose he taste funny to you "

  5. #3545
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    What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?
    A new last name.
    -Mitch
    'El Burro' 2012 Defender 90.

  6. #3546
    DiscoMick Guest
    Q:Why did the Cockney mechanic sleep under a Land Rover?
    A: He wanted to get up 'oiley' in the morning.

    Sent from my GT-P5210 using AULRO mobile app

  7. #3547
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    Today I found out that diarrhoea is hereditary.
    It runs in my jeans.
    -Mitch
    'El Burro' 2012 Defender 90.

  8. #3548
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    Oh Mitch! ... That really is a crap joke.....




    Mark

    Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

    2015 TDV6 D4.... the latest project... Llams, Traxide, Icom 455, Tuffant Kimberleys and Mofos.... so far.
    2012 SDV6 SE D4 with some stuff... gone...
    2003 D2a TD5...gone...
    2000 D2 V8...gone...
    https://bymark.photography


  9. #3549
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    Three old pensioners walking down the road.

    Mick- It's windy today!

    Paddy- No, it's thursday!

    Barry-So am I, let's have a beer!.

    Boom, Boom.
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

  10. #3550
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    A toddler is being bathed by his Nana. He grabs hold of his testicles, and says," Nana are these my brains?"

    Nana replies, " not yet dear".
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

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