Thread: Jokes

EATING IN THE FIFTIES and SIXTIES
Pasta was not eaten in Australia.

Curry was a surname.

A takeaway was a mathematical problem.

A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.

All crisps chips were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the
salt on or not.

Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.

Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white
gold. Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Fish didn't have fingers in those days.

Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.

None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.

Indian restaurants were only found in India.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognised food.

"Kebab" was not even a word, never mind a food.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.

Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than petrol for it, they would have
become a laughing stock!!

But the one thing that we never ever had on our table in the sixties ......

"Elbows or Phones".

GLOBALIATION

Question. What is the truest definition of globalisation?

Answer. Princess Diana's death

Question. How come.

Answer. An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian
Paparazzi on Japanese motor cycles, treated by an American doctor using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by a New Zealander using American Bill Gates technology and you are probably reading this on your computer,
that uses Taiwanese chips and a Korean monitor, assembled by
Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian truck drivers.

That, my friends, is Globalisation!

Q: How long do I have to keep shaking this spray paint can?
A: Until it stops rattling.

Sent from my SM-G900I using AULRO mobile app

I like my Land Rovers like I like my women.
16 years old with a tonne of issues.

This is so good Iam sure all will enjoy it

Http://1funny.com/if-my-nose-was-running-money/

A priest and an atheist were having an argument on the existence of God. Suddenly the priest throw his hands in the air and exclaimed
'you are a blindfolded blind man in a blacked out room, looking for a black cat that isn't even there!'
The atheist looks the the priest in the eyes and says
'Padre, I think we are more alike than you think'
How so says the priest?
Well says the atheist 'I too think you are akin to a blindfolded blind man in a darkened room, looking for a black cat that isn't there. Except you found the cat!'

How can you tell the sex of an ant

Originally Posted by carlschmid2002

How can you tell the sex of an ant

If it floats'doesn't that make it a witch?