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Thread: Jokes

  1. #5371
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    I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

    Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend

    Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

    In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

  2. #5372
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    I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said, "I love my job, I'm my own boss, nobody tells me what to do".


    I said, "Turn left here".
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion

  3. #5373
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    A man was seen stealing the wheels from police cars in Mt Druitt this morning.


    Police are working tirelessly to find him
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion

  4. #5374
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    Today my wife was conned into buying a really terrible old mirror.


    It reflects very poorly on her.
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion

  5. #5375
    16PMark Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Eevo View Post
    Today my wife was conned into buying a really terrible old mirror.


    It reflects very poorly on her.
    Sooooo many "dad" jokes....
    All good though, carry on. JokesJokes

  6. #5376
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    It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.

    It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

    The difference is staggering.

  7. #5377
    NavyDiver's Avatar
    NavyDiver is offline Very Very Lucky! Gold Subscriber
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    Following on from the Pub! At some point we suspect beer was involved

    rv-boat-20.jpg

  8. #5378
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    დიდება უკრაინას
    Рашка парашка

  9. #5379
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    დიდება უკრაინას
    Рашка парашка

  10. #5380
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    The last thing my grandfather said before he died was " Pints, litres, gallons".


    That spoke volumes.
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion

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