Jokes

I had a Greek barber named George with a long unpronouncable (to us) surname with lots of letters, so people just called him George Alphabet.

William Shatner wanted to start up a line of female underwear.


Unfortunately Shatner Undies wasn’t the greatest brand name.

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day.
So the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity".
The Angel thanks Dolly and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, and drinks it down.
Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, "ok, your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged and asked, "What was that all about?
I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down.
She pees into a toilet and she gets in!
Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly says the Angel, but even in Heaven A Royal Flush Beats a Pair No Matter How Big They Are".

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bigbjorn

God, I must have got old. I remember when Penrith was a country town and the farmers would come in on Saturday to go shopping, pick up their mail, and stand outside the Red Cow for a few schooners. You could stand in the middle of High St. (the Great Western Highway) and have a chat with someone you met.

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Now days I guess you'd get knocked arse over tit by bunch of Lycra clad Cyclists.[smilebigeye]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Eevo

William Shatner wanted to start up a line of female underwear.


Unfortunately Shatner Undies wasn’t the greatest brand name.

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Even more so had they named it "William Shatner Undies." [biggrin]

on monday we start diarrhea awareness week.
runs until friday.

Because the Platypus both lays eggs , and produces milk, it's one of the few animals that's can make it's own custard.

I've been going out with a weather girl.


I thought it would make a nice change to date a woman who wasn't right all the time.

Felt pretty cocky an hour ago arriving to give blood.


Not so full of myself now...

My mates and I are in a band called Duvet.


We're a cover band.