Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by DeeJay

Having a chat with a bloke over a beer in my local last night. I discovered he was worth around $8 million and he told me the amazing story of how he got so rich. Basically when he left school he had little or no formal qualifications but he was good with his hands and he knew how to sell. He knew he was never going to make it in an office job so it was nose to the grindstone time.
He left school at 15 and bought an old series Land Rover and spent a few weeks fixing it up, he then sold it for profit.
He then used the money to buy another and so on.
He did this a lot over the next 35 years, buying, repairing, selling, buying again.
He eventually moved onto Defenders in the 90's and then onto Range Rovers in the last eight or nine years.
Even during the real bad times he plugged away.
He worked long hours as you do in the Land Rover trade, sometimes not seeing his wife and kids for days in pursuit of his goal.
Then his uncle died and left him $8 million.

Tongue in cheek I realise, but in real life his Uncle would have appreciated his work ethic over many years, which was probably the same as his, & how he got to accumulate the 8 mill. in the first place to leave to his nephew.

Just sayin'

Originally Posted by DeeJay

Having a chat with a bloke over a beer in my local last night. I discovered he was worth around $8 million and he told me the amazing story of how he got so rich. Basically when he left school he had little or no formal qualifications but he was good with his hands and he knew how to sell. He knew he was never going to make it in an office job so it was nose to the grindstone time.
He left school at 15 and bought an old series Land Rover and spent a few weeks fixing it up, he then sold it for profit.
He then used the money to buy another and so on.
He did this a lot over the next 35 years, buying, repairing, selling, buying again.
He eventually moved onto Defenders in the 90's and then onto Range Rovers in the last eight or nine years.
Even during the real bad times he plugged away.
He worked long hours as you do in the Land Rover trade, sometimes not seeing his wife and kids for days in pursuit of his goal.
Then his uncle died and left him $8 million.

I started off like that bloke .................. still waiting for my 8mil though!

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;...
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
"I am a dominator!!"

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one!!"

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!

Originally Posted by Xtreme

I started off like that bloke .................. still waiting for my 8mil though!

You may have already, it's just that your Accountant is possibly fiddlin' the cash box.

Has Mick Marsh got the car owner virus?

I asked my wife what she wants for Valentines day this year.


She said, " Something with diamonds".


So I'm getting her a deck of cards.

Originally Posted by Fifth Columnist

Has Mick Marsh got the car owner virus?

play on words? corona virus?