Thread: Jokes

It's lucky golf was invented.


How else would we know how big hailstones are.

BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..


In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti..


Let’s hope he’s cured with one shot!!..

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already..

Sounds like a post normal night on the ****.

The other day I gave up my seat to an older blind lady


And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

That’s a golden oldie from Kenny Everett.

I have a mate who tried to take a selfie while he was in the shower, but the image came out blurry.


He has selfie steam issues.

Here's one for Eevo:

My daughter just eloped with a dog walker, but I think I will soon catch up with them, as he left several good leads.