Thread: Jokes

Theyve finally fixed my car!!


I know its off topic but I had trouble getting the motor on HORRIE to run smoothly.... I took it to a mechanic who has it running smoothly now!!

I asked him what it was, was it something I did wrong or didnt do?

he replied, "ahh its nothing much just crap in the carby"

So I need to know how often should I do this and should I use a sieve?

any advice appreciated

digger
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(sorry to those that saw this in my thread things ive learnt on remlr just wanted to share..)

Mick attended his 4 wheel drive clubs monthly meeting and had just told them he couldn't make the upcoming annual Innamincka trip because his missus wouldn't let him go.
After copping "the under the thumb remarks and other derisive remarks" Mick left to go back home to the missus. Later when Mick's mates started arriving to set up camp at Innamincka common the following week, who should be there but Mick sitting up in front of the Cooper , swag rolled out , fishing rod in hand, and the camp oven roast stewing away in a hot bed of Coolabah coals.
"Geez how did ya talk ya missus into letting you come here Mick?" they asked
"I didn't have to," was Mick's reply, "When I left the meeting last week I went home disappointed and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Suddenly the missus snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'.
"When I peeled her hands back there she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you can do what ever you want."


SO HERE I AM

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,

*'Hello.' *

*'Mrs. Sanders, please.' *

*'Speaking.' *

*'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'

*'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously. *

*'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.' *

*'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders. *

*'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.' *

*'Well, what am I supposed to do now?' *

*'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'*

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

The word is out and about that the Irish have started manufacturing viagra, and its 98% fat free!

Is this guy related to the other Mike ??

Originally Posted by DeeJay

Is this guy related to the other Mike ??

subtle, but very very funny

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ7J7UjsRqg&NR=1"]YouTube - The Onion: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys[/ame]

lol - this felt a little to close to the truth