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Thread: Jokes

  1. 3rd February 2017, 08:59 PM #3641
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    Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.

    "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."

    Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking
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  2. 4th February 2017, 04:45 PM #3642
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    I hate this narrative that Chuck Norris has super-human powers and strength. He is an ACTOR, people, not God. If he really is special, I dare him to magically appear in my apartment now, sneak up behind me and slam my face into my own keyboarw2548y5j4w89p\sd;fjiaWw458gA\;SD A5w89*(uj\SGS0\sdg;oijfds a\SDGOPIJsaefph0jsi8p
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  3. 4th February 2017, 05:12 PM #3643
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    Chuck Norris was once bitten by a brown snake.
    After 5 days of excruciating pain the brown snake died.
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  4. 4th February 2017, 06:01 PM #3644
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    Chucky Norris can finish a bottle of milk in 5 seconds - with a fork.
    If you need to contact me please email homestarrunnerau@gmail.com - thanks - Gav.
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  5. 6th February 2017, 08:26 AM #3645
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    Welcome back Eevo.
    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.
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  6. 7th February 2017, 12:46 PM #3646
    Gerokent
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    Chuck Norris went to the "Virgin Islands", now they are just the "Islands"
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  7. 7th February 2017, 01:14 PM #3647
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    Did you know Chuck Norris went to the Mars? That's why there's no signs of life there.
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  8. 7th February 2017, 01:52 PM #3648
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    There once was a street called Chuck Norris but the name was changed for public safety, because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
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  9. 9th February 2017, 05:33 PM #3649
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    A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the funeral service.

    Following the eulogy, the heart opened up and the casket rolled slowly inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside forever.

    At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said .............
    "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own funeral ................ I'm a gynecologist".

    The proctologist fainted .............................
    Cheers .........

    BMKAL

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  10. 9th February 2017, 05:36 PM #3650
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    My kids keep taking the **** out of my Alzheimers.

    Won't be so funny when they wake up on Christmas morning and there's no eggs under the ****ing bonfire.
    Cheers .........

    BMKAL

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