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Thread: Jokes

  1. 1st June 2017, 05:04 PM #3751
    DiscoMick Guest
    Two surfers are sitting on a dune talking.
    Surfer 1: "I have a half-sister. "
    Surfer 2: "Different father? "
    Surfer 1: "No, shark attack."
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  2. 1st June 2017, 05:09 PM #3752
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    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

    A: Bob
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
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    Nanocom, D2 TD5 only.​
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  3. 1st June 2017, 05:10 PM #3753
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    So, what do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool doing laps?


    A: Cleverdick.
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
    OKApotamus #74
    Nanocom, D2 TD5 only.​
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  4. 1st June 2017, 05:10 PM #3754
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    My Jewish mate has been with his Tourette's syndrome girlfriend for years now. I often wonder why, then yesterday I saw her swear jar
    1964, S2a SWB "Ralph"
    1977, S3 SWB "Smeg" (Gone)
    1996 D1 300tdi auto (Gone)
    1973 Rangie Classic (Gone)
    2012, 110 (Series 12) Puma "The Tardis"
    1962 109" Tray Back "Ernie"
    1998 D1 300tdi (Dizzy)
    2017 Kawasaki Versys 1000

    You must now cut down the tallest tree in the forest... With... A HERRING!!!!!
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  5. 1st June 2017, 05:13 PM #3755
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    Last night I reached for my bottle of liquid viagra, but I didn't have my glasses on and ended up taking a swig from a bottle of white out. This morning I woke with a huge correction
    1964, S2a SWB "Ralph"
    1977, S3 SWB "Smeg" (Gone)
    1996 D1 300tdi auto (Gone)
    1973 Rangie Classic (Gone)
    2012, 110 (Series 12) Puma "The Tardis"
    1962 109" Tray Back "Ernie"
    1998 D1 300tdi (Dizzy)
    2017 Kawasaki Versys 1000

    You must now cut down the tallest tree in the forest... With... A HERRING!!!!!
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  6. 1st June 2017, 05:16 PM #3756
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    I said to my new wife, I have a big problem at work, she replied, honey now we're married you can say, "we have a big problem at work". OK I said, we have a big problem at work, we've knocked up our secretary.
    1964, S2a SWB "Ralph"
    1977, S3 SWB "Smeg" (Gone)
    1996 D1 300tdi auto (Gone)
    1973 Rangie Classic (Gone)
    2012, 110 (Series 12) Puma "The Tardis"
    1962 109" Tray Back "Ernie"
    1998 D1 300tdi (Dizzy)
    2017 Kawasaki Versys 1000

    You must now cut down the tallest tree in the forest... With... A HERRING!!!!!
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  7. 1st June 2017, 06:45 PM #3757
    DiscoMick Guest
    Contrast.
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  8. 1st June 2017, 10:11 PM #3758
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    That's very funny but it's no Joke.
    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.
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  9. 1st June 2017, 10:37 PM #3759
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    Quote Originally Posted by cuppabillytea View Post
    That's very funny but it's no Joke.
    What are they like padded up???
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
    OKApotamus #74
    Nanocom, D2 TD5 only.​
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  10. 2nd June 2017, 06:38 AM #3760
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    Stored energy or muscle at rest!
    Jim VK2MAD
    -------------------------
    '17 Isuzu D-Max
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