Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by Toxic_Avenger

Barrel / magazine. Whatever.
M1911 pistol - Wikipedia (see the 'specifications' section).
Or don't and keep nitpicking it instead of laughing

Can I nitpick and laugh?

Know your guns Mitch.

Originally Posted by V8Ian

Can I nitpick and laugh?

Originally Posted by cuppabillytea

Know your guns Mitch.

My platoon sergeant would have you doing fifty push ups for calling a pistol a gun.

Originally Posted by johntins

My platoon sergeant would have you doing fifty push ups for calling a pistol a gun.

I'd be getting a dishonourable discharge, I'm only good for 49 push-ups.

This is my rifle, this is my gun
(This is for fighting, this is for fun)

Originally Posted by johntins

My platoon sergeant would have you doing fifty push ups for calling a pistol a gun.

I can only do 2 pushups. So tell your Platoon Sergeant to mind his own business. As far as I'm concerned a Sailor can call any firearm he likes a gun, 'cause ships have the biggest guns, soldier boys have pea shooters.

An old cowboy walks into a bar.
A woman comes up to him and asks, "Excuse me sir, but are you a real cowboy?"
"That I am, ma'am," he says. "When I wake up in the morning, I'm thinking about my cattle. When I'm eating my breakfast and listening to the radio, I'm thinking about my cattle. When I'm cooking my pot of beans for dinner out on the range, I'm thinking about my cattle, and when I'm asleep, I dream about my cattle. I reckon I'm about as close to a 'real cowboy' as they come. What about you, ma'am? What do you do for a living?"
"Well, believe it or not," she says, "I'm a lesbian pornstar."
"Huh," the cowboy says. "And are you a 'real' lesbian?"
"That I am, sir," she says. "When I wake up in the morning, I'm thinking about women. When I'm taking my shower and doing my nails, I'm thinking about women. When I'm watching TV at night, I'm thinking about women, and when I'm asleep, I dream about women. I reckon I'm just as much a 'real lesbian' as you are a 'real cowboy.'"

"Well, to be honest," the cowboy replies after a few moments of thought. "I've always told everyone I'm a real cowboy, but hearing you talk right now, I'm starting to think I might actually be a lesbian."