Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by Eevo

topic tiltles from some other forums.

Bentley Forums
I used the ashtray today. How do I replace it?

BMW 3 Series forums
Why do I keep getting pulled over, it ain't stolen yo.

VW Bug forum
The Save the Earth concert was a success (pics)

Yugo Forum
When's the last time yours ran?

Lamborghini forum
Wind noise around 210MPH

MX5 forums
Some ******** in Toyota Hilux just ran over my car (pics)

Hilux forum
MX5 stuck in my undercarriage. How do I safely remove it? (pics)

BMW 7-series forum
Where to get a service on my Rolex?

Rover 800 forum
Problems parallel parking at bingo.

Range Rover Forum
Is the price of petrol going down anytime soon?

Delorean forum
Just got back from the future and blew a head gasket. Please help. I'm from 1985.

Honda Accord forum
Mum is giving me the car. Looking for some cheap, used 18 inch rims.

Toyota Echo forum
Do our cars use AAA or AA's?

Ferrari forums
Need suggestions about a business trip to Colombia. Want to get in and out fast.

Porsche forums
Tyre just went flat. Is it best to trade or sell the car myself?

Mini forum
Just flipped the Cooper after seeing The Italian Job. Suing the movie company. (pics)

Dax Cobra forum
I frightened myself on the way home from work yesterday. How to get wee stains out of the leather?

McLaren F1 forum
Some punk kid in a F16 tried to race me.

Hummer forum
Had a fender bender today. 24 hurt, 10 killed. Do I have to get the black touch-up paint from the dealer? He's 25 miles away. That's £35 in petrol.

Fiat forum
Hello? Am I the only member?

Subaru WRX forum
I'm thinking Blue and gold, how about you ??

Chevy pickup forum
How do I git the dried tobacco juice stains off the side of mah truck?

Supra Forum
Head too big to fit in car, should have bought a Targa.

Volvo forum
What biker, I never saw a biker, he just came from nowhere, I didn't mean to hit him.

Corsa Forum
m8 me dol ofica sayd that me burbery 'at was wikid and i shoud txt me m8's 4 a krooz in asda's carparc 2nite

Micra forum
When i get a skyline...........

Jaguar forum
Why do jaguar parts dept, keep sending me to ford to get parts for my car??

Alfa Romeo forum
Have any of you ever had your car running for more than 5 mins??

Porche Cayane forum
Do you have problems with you wallet not fitting in your pocket?

ford forum
need a new battery tray again ,DOH!

Nissansilvia: Can I do a strawberry conversion on my onevia S14a? Pettet defected my kouki +10mm widebody fender kit with deeeeeeeep dishhh.

Skylinesaustralia: Apparently there are engines other than RB's that can make more than 200rwkw. Can anyone confirm? Plus pics of my neighbour's riced up excel.

SoarerCentral: 1996 SC400 vs tugboat, similarities in handling? Are suspension parts interchangeable?

Aus300zx: DIY Changing your airfilter and top up washer fluid without dropping out your engine and gearbox. Step by step howto in 22 easy steps.

Fordaustralia: 2005 - Ford announces innovative turbo technology. Nissan Australia issues press release in response titled "welcome to 1988 n00b". Discuss.

AussieMagna: Ralliart edition... are we really paying 12k extra for bigger rims and a remapped ECU?

Fastfours: h0w 2 mak 200rwkw/h wid ma DVSXXL excel so I cAn drAg ma neybor's R33. cAn it help pull cHix?

Hot4sforums: g0t benned from Fastfours forums, cAn I pull cHix wid ma DVSXXL excel or wAt mang?

Pulsar Group of Oz: N14 Pulsar's with GTiR scoop and illegal tint. Silvia drivers keep assuming I'm a chick. How to remove tint?

Car Audio Australia: Guys who make more kw at the wheels than in your boot... do you have less of a ringing noise in your ears than us?

LS1 Oz: My teenage daughters first car... 8L or 9L pushrod V8? How to make sure she dosen't hook up with and bring home an Excel driver?

Oz Honda: Ricing up Civic's and Teg's, can we dethrone Islam as the fastest growing religion? Some encouragement from our US brothers.

AE86 Driving Club: WTB - australian delivered AE86 with no rust and no takumi tax. Thread created 9/1/2004. Views 232912. Replies 0.

Toymods: Swapping a Beams 4AC into my 1967 Corona, will it be faster than my 7AFE powered Camry? What AE86 parts can I use?

There are forums for vehicles other than Land Rovers? What do they talk about?

Originally Posted by DiscoMick

There are forums for vehicles other than Land Rovers? What do they talk about?

how they wish they had a land rover

Baby Bear looking into an empty bowl
"Who's been eating my porridge?"
Daddy Bear looking into an empty bowl
"Who's been eating my porridge?"
Mammy Bear comes in from the kitchen and says
"I hav'nt made the porridge yet"

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,

While you were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.

Sincerely, The Opportunist

I was going to be a pessimist, but I realised that won't work.

I've just found the absolute worst page in the dictionary.

What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous.

I got a deodorant stick today. Ive never used one, so i read the instructions, "Remove top and slowly push up bottom" I'm in Casualty, but my farts smell lovely.

Ed and Nancy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her .


When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Nancy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Nancy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Nancy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf; I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!"

Nancy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've been a hooker."

Ed said, "You're probably just not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball." We can work on that.