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Thread: Jokes

  1. 28th February 2018, 12:20 PM #4401
    DiscoMick Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by gusthedog View Post
    It's a write of passage...
    Did you rite that write?
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  2. 28th February 2018, 03:54 PM #4402
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoMick View Post
    Did you rite that write?
    At least it wasn't wright. That would just be weird Jokes
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  3. 1st March 2018, 09:59 AM #4403
    DiscoMick Guest
    Righto then.
    Isn't English spelling wonderful.
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  4. 3rd March 2018, 11:48 PM #4404
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    A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

    'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

    She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

    'Don't move until I tell you,' she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

    'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room..

    'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.'

    No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

    Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

    'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a d****d thing.'
    Scratching my teenage itch now that I'm in my midlife crisis...
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  5. 1st April 2018, 06:15 AM #4405
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    Easter Day and April Fools Day are on the same day.
    So, send the kids on an Easter egg hunt, just don't hide any eggs.
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  6. 1st April 2018, 07:40 AM #4406
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fifth Columnist View Post
    Easter Day and April Fools Day are on the same day.
    So, send the kids on an Easter egg hunt, just don't hide any eggs.
    Tell the rabbit.
    If you don't like trucks, stop buying stuff.
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  7. 1st April 2018, 07:44 AM #4407
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fifth Columnist View Post
    Easter Day and April Fools Day are on the same day.
    So, send the kids on an Easter egg hunt, just don't hide any eggs.
    I've done that before...
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  8. 1st April 2018, 05:17 PM #4408
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    I was at work instead of Cooma. I guess that's pretty foolish.
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    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.
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  9. 1st April 2018, 08:07 PM #4409
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    My wife has a uni-brow/mono-brow, actually she has two, but shaves the one under her nose.
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  10. 2nd April 2018, 12:37 PM #4410
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    Women have no sense of humour!

    Last night at diner 1 of the kids didn't eat his bread crust.
    I said "Finish your diner & eat your crust."
    He said "I don't want to get more curly hair."
    I said "That's an old wives tail, hang on I'll check with an expert, Darling will eating crust give you OWWWWW!"

    I'm sure the bruises will heal & staunching the blood wasn't as difficult as it first looked.

    Jonesfam
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