Thread: Jokes

The older I get the more & more I worry about the Hereafter.
You know, "What did I come in here after?"

Jonesfam

It's my wifes birthday tomorrow.


She's been leaving jewellery catalogues all around the house, so I bought her a magazine rack.

I went on a camping trip with my wife, kids, and mother-in-law.
At night, my wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to me, she insisted on trying to find her mother. I picked up my rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, we came upon a chilling sight, the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large bear stood facing her.
My wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” I said. “The bear got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it

corona-31.jpg

Originally Posted by sashadidi

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Melbourne?

Be careful with the John Denver voiced satnav.


It will only take you home via country roads.

What did the Spanish carpet layer say to his apprentice?
Underlay underlay

I used to be in a band called "Frequent Urination".


We had several number ones.