Jokes

**NavyDiver** · 24th July 2025, 06:54 AM

Mark Simmons last year: "I was going to sail around the globe in the world's smallest ship but I bottled it."

Lorna Rose Treen in 2023: "I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah."

Masai Graham in 2022: "I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta."

Masai Graham in 2021: "I thought the word Caesarean began with the letter S but when I looked in the dictionary, it was in the C section."

Olaf Falafel in 2019: "I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have Florets."

Adam Rowe in 2018: "Working at the job centre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day."

Ken Cheng in 2017: "I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change."

Masai Graham in 2016: "My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart."

Darren Walsh in 2015: "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free.

"Tim Vine in 2014: "I've decided to sell my Hoover - well, it was just collecting dust."

**RANDLOVER** · 24th July 2025, 03:08 PM

I think I bought a fake Xerox, as I suspect it's just a copy machine.

**NavyDiver** · 26th July 2025, 12:36 PM

I was invited to my friend's Wedding. My response was not appreciated; I have been abused by the couple and several of the bridal party now!

All I said was "Maybe Next Time"

**Eevo** · 29th July 2025, 09:31 AM

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But, officer," the man began, "I can explain"
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say"
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

**sashadidi** · 3rd August 2025, 06:36 AM

phone boothx - Copy.jpg

**RANDLOVER** · 7th August 2025, 12:49 PM

The previous post is funny because it's true, I have seen guys talking or scrolling on their phone while at the urinal.

**V8Ian** · 7th August 2025, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by RANDLOVER

The previous post is funny because it's true, I have seen guys talking or scrolling on their phone while at the urinal.

I hope they weren't video calls.

**Saitch** · 7th August 2025, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by V8Ian

I hope they weren't video calls.

Hands free.

**Tins** · 9th August 2025, 03:47 PM

IMG_2388.jpeg

**d2dave** · 9th August 2025, 11:22 PM

Originally Posted by Tins

IMG_2388.jpeg

That was an add for Repco 10 plus years ago. From memory it was for tools. Bloke rips car apart(not to the extent in above pic) looking for rattle.

Turns out to be something in ashtray.

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