Thread: The book, An introduction

red rag-> bull




Glad you have settled in, Dave.
How many cartons have you earned, fixing the 'unfixable'?

Must..... Not..... Laugh......

See The book, An introduction
post#8 spelt " I-r-o-n-y "
Good luck mate.. for a man who seems to enjoy solitude at times... plenty of time to write!
cheers

Dave, is the 'Williamstown Wonder" still in the power house?

I have a story to tell......

So,, the big question is, will you still be there when the F35's ( No 75 Squadron) arrive??

A while back I was meandering my dog when i came across a wheely bin that was still out on the street in front of a house, I'd passed it a few times over a few weeks. I'd seen a generously filled bloke lounging about on a deck chair and asked him if he was going to pull the bin in.

"Fulumalo"

his voice had the accent of an isolated tropical island tribe member and I must have looked at him quizzically because he went onto explain in that typical eased back manner of the islanders

"It means in the fullness of time, it'll get to getting there and getting done, eventually, maybe"

I looked at him sort of nonplussedly and he spoke lazily again

"you look confused, is it at odds with you knowing that there are people that could be so relaxed"

I drawled back, "nahh, I'm a tech in the RAAF, posted to Tindal and drive a landrover. I'm trying to work out when I would use a word so expedient"

youd think, its a tiny town Katherine, not too many people, not too many cars and big car parks because lets face it this place is so far behind the times the local flying squarden mechanics are still trying to work out how to set the bottom vavles on the sopwith camel without letting all the oil out of the pushrod tubes. the upshot of this is of course no one really cares the local shops have been too lazy to repaint the carparks which means their wide, so wide that theres been times when I've parked in one and decided to reposition the disco to the other side of the bay less because im worried about door damage and more becuase the amount of time I'm going to save on the walk means a, the icecream wont melt but far more importantly b, the beer wont get warm and c, I wont be forced to drink the beer before it gets warm.

bit i digress...

Id come back from the shops and off in the distance I could see what appeared to be another car backed into the front of mine. and being blocked in by someone not having a good time with a trailer I wasnt sure so I shouldered my back and with grim determination to make it across the carpark before the sun went down for once I set off, and there I am, and sure enough once Ive gotten there there's a bloke,
a big bloke
The kind of bloke that just screams he knows hes big and he wants you to be intimidated by it
140kg of him if theres an ounce,
he staring at his beaten in car and hes not looking happy at me the tone of voice is not doing anything to entice me into believing Im about to have a good moment. the phraseology "so, whatcha gunna do about it" is definately not doing it for me. His cars rather nastily bent around the vertical of my bull bar. I asked him if he could move so I could check the damage... he crams his mass into the car and moves his car forwards about 2 feet and no further because someones still having trouble reversing his trailer in front of him into the rather spacious carpark, lets be fair if it was a road train I'd suggest its the second trailer of the road train thats causing the issue. its not, its someone trying to back a 6x4 on the back of a ute that would want to be drunk becuase hes making a lunch of it, a long liquid lunch with lot of vomiting and slurring but I digress, again, although Im no longer sure why I feel the need to point that out to you anymore, if youve gotten this far into the book your either a speed reader and dont mind skipping the non important segweys or youre patient with time on your hands and it giving you a good excuse to procrastinate some more.

but while hes been getting the car started Ive opened the back of my car, now in the back of my car is all of my deployment gear because once again no longer have my boots hit the deck but Im on standby to go and do more work thats somewhere not where Im posted, its new personal best, 11 weeks after i got the first items in my house and Im getting ready to disapear again, I havent even had my delivery completed yet. The inconveniences of the road train blocking his path have my future antagonist very unhappy, and it looks like hes getting a good head of steam up a clue that goes unmissed by my keen senses and probably wouldn't have been missed if I was a corpse. Ive put my groceries in

Fortunately for me someone whose 2-3 three axe handles across isn't exactly great at contorting them selves into and out of vehicles, and as the tirade of abuse increases Im thankful that its even harder if those axes are across your hips and drapped into your lap then wedged in place by the steering wheel. so its bought me some time.

the devout of you are now pondering how much is tardised into the back of the disco and into my pack and webbing, lots, a lot of lots, so I delve past my comfy seat,my hammock, the jaffle iron, coffee maker, the hatched and dig out my machette. He hasnt seen it as I walk back to the front of the car, hes out and abusive and Im really not in the mood. Id expacted it he hadnt, hes seen it.

"Whatcha gunna do with that".

"This", I flick the machette on its lanyard and catch its sheath. Hes stuck on the spot I'm confident no-ones ever not been intimidated by him before and Im dead certain no-ones ever stood him down

I spend about 10 seconds picking the glass out of the crevices on the bull bar, a couple of seconds scratching the donated paint off and then sweeping the glass pebbles onto the edge of the blade with the sheath.

"hold out your hand"

Dumbstruck he holds his hand out. I dump the glass and shavings in it.

"gunna need all your bits back if you want to put that back together. The discos fine, thank you for doing the right thing and waiting for me to get back. I dont think I'll need your details."

right hand down, foot to the floor hold the brakes dip the clutch release hand brake and key the ignition, catch the start, up on the clutch down on the brakes and leave him with a pallour of rich black smoke for his efforts.

In a town this smaill Id have thought I'd have gotten away from this....

I am pretty certain that the Sopwith Camel did not have pushrod tubes (open valve gear, not even any exhaust manifold, let alone an exhaust pipe). And being a rotary engine, it dripped oil everywhere anyway, since the crankcase being used as an intake manifold, they had castor oil added to the fuel.

John