Thread: Jokes

Hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac. They lie awake at night wondering whether or not there is a dog. Boom Boom.

Repartee at its best ..
Gandhi .....

When Mahatma Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London , a professor, whose last name was Peters,
disliked him intensely and always displayed animosity towards him.
Also, because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him as he expected, there were always "arguments" and confrontations.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University, and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor.
The professor said,"Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat."
Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, "You do not worry professor. I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.
Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions.
Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him the following question:
"Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?"
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded,
"The one with the money, of course."
Mr. Peters, smiling sarcastically said,
"I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom."
Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded,
"Each one takes what he doesn't have."
Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied.
So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi's exam sheet the word "idiot" and gave it to Gandhi.
Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk, trying very hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move.
A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone,
"Mr. Peters, you autographed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."

I read an article about a scientist who was studying human/canine beastiality. If you need to contact him, he's in his lab.

I've heard of pole houses but never a pole lab.

Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate exam, which by the way was one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had, the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.

After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear..


She said...."Who was that guy??

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's a really obscure number... you've probably never heard of it before...



Have you heard of Emo grass?

It cuts itself.

Where do you drown a hipster?



In the mainstream.

For the GoT fans...


What do you call the side door of a brothel in Westeros?

Hodor.