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Thread: Jokes

  1. 8th August 2018, 08:45 PM #4601
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    I went up to the bar and ordered three pints and a whisky. I said to the barman 'I shouldn't be having this with what I've got.'
    He said 'What have you got?'
    I said 'Ninety-seven cents.'
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  2. 9th August 2018, 05:03 PM #4602
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    Some Spike Milligan wisdom.


    • “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.”
    • SPIKE MILLIGAN
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking
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  3. 9th August 2018, 06:34 PM #4603
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    Went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.
    The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity ....
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  4. 10th August 2018, 11:02 AM #4604
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    "Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty." -Mark Twain
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking
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  5. 12th August 2018, 10:25 PM #4605
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    My wife isn't talking to me, she said I ruined her birthday.

    I don't know how, I didn't even know it was her birthday!
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  6. 14th August 2018, 10:02 AM #4606
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    On the subject of Spike Milligan: His Grave.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.
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  7. 14th August 2018, 10:08 AM #4607
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    I thought Spike's grave had that written in gaelic.....?
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  8. 14th August 2018, 07:34 PM #4608
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    I've just renamed my WiFi network to "Police Surveillance Van #02".
    That should keep my neighbours on their toes for a while.
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  9. 14th August 2018, 09:03 PM #4609
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    Just want to say thanks to the person who explained the meaning of the word 'many' to me.

    It means a lot.
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  10. 15th August 2018, 06:25 PM #4610
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    Another from Spike.

    I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.Spike Milligan
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking
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