Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by Fifth Columnist

I was going to start breeding gun dogs and wondered whether anyone would be able to give me a few pointers.

you would be better off breeding sheepdogs


it's easier to round up a few of them

I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said “Have a good day, son.”
“Don’t call me son,” I said. “You’re not my dad.”
He scratched his head. “No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”

I used to call all the old blokes Dad. They'll dead now so I guess I'll never know.

Must be lost web page can't be found

AM

So I met a bloke at a mini car club meeting yesterday and we wound up talking land rovers. He explained to me the point at which land rover decided to resolve the dust & water ingress issues in the defender;

"So they sit down with a cup of tea to figure out where to begin. Agreeing that those japanese chaps are doing awfully well with their land-cruisers, they decide to give them a call for some friendly advice.
The kind gentlemen from toyota explain that they begin by locking a cat inside the test vehicle for a weekend. If the cat is still alive when they arrive back at work on the Monday then they know there is a problem and investigate it from there.
So off the landrover lads go to procure a cat and proceed to lock it in the latest defender that friday afternoon.
Arriving back to work on monday, eager to see their results, they discover the cat is missing....."
pretty sure this is a true story

Driving down the road today I went past a 'Road Works Ahead' sign. My kids both commented they hope it 'Works"

A classic sign, but still good:
Men At Work Drive Slowly

Originally Posted by DiscoMick

A classic sign, but still good:
Men At Work Drive Slowly

Not if your work involves overnight express transport!