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Thread: Jokes

  1. 15th January 2019, 04:24 PM #4841
    Ean Austral Guest
    Old bloke goes to see the quack, Whats the problem say the Doc,

    Well, when i was a teen and in my 20's i couldn't bend my erection with 2 hands , then in my 30's I was only just able to bend it with 2 hands

    by my 40's I could almost bend it with 1 hand , and then , by my 50's I could bend it with 1 hand no problem

    Now i'm approaching 70 I can bend it with 2 fingers.

    So says the Doc, what's the problem ?

    Well Doc i'm really wondering, "How much stronger am I going to get"....
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  2. 17th January 2019, 04:35 PM #4842
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    RANDLOVER
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    Quote Originally Posted by POD View Post
    Two Indian drug addicts mistakenly injected curry powder. One is in hospital with a dodgy tikka, the other is still in a korma.
    The doctor said they were very lucky to survive, and had definitely used up one of their naan lives.
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  3. 18th January 2019, 11:54 AM #4843
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    Quote Originally Posted by jx2mad View Post
    I am still trying to find a ROAD PLANT for my garden
    Ive always wanted to write on the sign: WRONG WAY GO BACK
    "Shake 6 to move again"!!
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  4. 18th January 2019, 12:45 PM #4844
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    I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan.
    I will make you beg me to stop. When i'm finished you will be weak for days.

    sincerely
    The Flu
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

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  5. 22nd January 2019, 01:53 AM #4845
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    So, technically, Moses was the first person to download data from the cloud to a tablet.
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  6. 30th January 2019, 11:49 AM #4846
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    Are you gay?

    My son asked me what gay means? I told him it means 'happy'.

    He asked me if i was gay. I told him I am married!






    Yes I am happily married.
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  7. 5th February 2019, 09:42 AM #4847
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    My wife wanted me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart".
    I couldn't if I tried.
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion
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  8. 6th February 2019, 09:17 PM #4848
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    There are 3 Dolls in a mans life:
    1. His daughter = Baby Doll.
    2. His girlfreind = Barbie Doll.
    3. His wife = Panadol.
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  9. 6th February 2019, 09:19 PM #4849
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    My 9 year old daughter has disappeared.
    She was last seen using a moisturiser cream that makes you look 10 years younger.
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  10. 6th February 2019, 09:22 PM #4850
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    Damp up there, Paul?
    If you don't like trucks, stop buying stuff.
    http://www.aulro.com/afvb/signaturepics/sigpic20865_1.gif
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