Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by 350RRC

She was talking how good out of ten, on the toe curling scale.

If you don't know what that is maybe goog Japanese erotic art.

Nothing to do with one out of ten blokes or mm or inches.

cheers, DL

You have met Eevo's missus then?


Eevo's missus from the background, "How the hell did I get involved in this Eevo?"

Eevo's missus from the background, "How the hell did I get involved in this Eevo?"


Eevo must have been a 10!

Originally Posted by jx2mad

Eevo's missus from the background, "How the hell did I get involved in this Eevo?"


Eevo must have been a 10!

10km restraining order.

Not surprising though, fancy being closer than 10k from these jokes each & every day.






^^
Eevo.

I got my palm read tonight.

replace bill with any other politician.


Bill Shorten walked into a bank to cash a cheque
When he’s called over to the teller, he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"


The teller replied, "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"


Bill Shorten said, "Truthfully, I didn’t bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I’m the leader of the Labour Party of Australia."


The teller said, "Yes sir, I know who you are... but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors, forgers, and requirements of the legislation etc., I must insist on seeing ID."


Shorten said, “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they’ll tell you. Everybody knows who I am."


The teller said, "I’m sorry, Mr Shorten, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them"


Getting a bit agitated, Shorten snapped, “C'mon woman, I’m urging you, please, to cash this cheque.."


The teller said, "Look Mr Shorten, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods, he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque.


"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, Mr Shorten, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?"


Bill Shorten stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank... there’s nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do... and I don't have a clue."


With a big smile, the teller said, "Will that be large or small notes, Mr Shorten?

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised and said, "thanks, but aren't you worried I might be a serial killer?".
I told him the chances of two serial killers being in the one car would be astronomical.

In my best Sylvester Stallone voice I said to this woman, " I'll be back".
I think I may have given her the wrong impression.