Thread: Jokes

Then she told us to be quiet because Fed was sleeping.

That probably explains Meghan Markle's situation. Meghan who?

A couple are walking down the street when the bloke's arm falls off. The wife says, "You don't drink enough water."

No. 2 on the head, and 5 on the beard = $28
That includes a cut-throat razor shave around the neck area, hot towel rub and great atmosphere.
If you go in on a Friday, you get a free beer, too!
Oh, and it's an all female crew, as well!

I suppose that sounds like a good deal, provided said female staff don't partake of said beer prior to said staff using the said cut-throat around your said neck, Sweeney Todd stylee.

"OOPS, here is another one to bung down in the cellar, Michelle. How many is that today, 6 ?".

I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.....

Did you hear about the bloke who complained his wife could hear him drop a crumb in the kitchen from 50 metres away, but her car looked like a Starbucks had exploded in it?

I was at Coles this afternoon, and saw some bloke and a woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, " are you two an item?".

The inventor of Morse code sadly passed away yesterday.
Dashes to dashes, dots to dots.