Reply With QuoteI remember when I was a kid you could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips, two chocolate bars and a can of drink.......................... Now, they have cameras everywhere.
CTRL + V!
SubscriberThe Sergeant Major
His whole life lay before him, with family and army mates
But sadly, long before his time, he arrived at the pearly gates
So, he asked St Peter, “I only have one fear
Before I take one step inside, do they have Sergeant Majors here?”
St Peter replied “Well yes we do, but we make them toe the line
You have no cause for worry, everything will work out fine
They can be a nuisance, the way they rant and rage
That’s why in this place, they have their own cage”.
“You’ll find no barber shops up here, no short back and sides
We don’t have rules or orders, just a few rough guides
No one here will yell at you, or stand you to attention
And there is no such thing, as CB or detention,”
“All your meals are served on time, no needle parades at all
They call this place paradise, so you just have a ball
You are always free, to do what you want to do
And one point to remember, you’ll never have to queue”.
The young lad seemed a bit confused, it was too good to be true
“Are you sure Sergeant Majors are locked away, just like some army zoo?”
They made my short life hell on earth and I have little doubt
They’ll be seeking vengeance, if someone lets them out”.
Then he heard a distant thunder, booming without affection
There were poor souls fleeing, in each and every direction
He spied a far off figure and it caused him great alarm
Spitting fire and fury, with a pace stick, under his arm
The youngster cried, “I’m outta here, there is one thing you can’t hide
I know that rank anywhere, “ I thought you were on my side”.
St Peter said.” My child you’re wrong and I will make a wager
That imposter is God himself, He just thinks he’s a Sergeant Major”.
By Tomas ‘Paddy’ Hamilton
20 February 2019
R.I.P. Windsor Davies, Battery Sergeant Major Williams (It Ain’t Half Hot Mum)
I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food
A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking
AT REST
SubscriberI remember when I was a kid you could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips, two chocolate bars and a can of drink.......................... Now, they have cameras everywhere.
Roger
Swaggie
SubscriberCONDOM FACTORY BURNS DOWN IN NEW ZEALAND
.
John Keys Prime Minister (the then )of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.
John, it’s the Hilth Munister here.
Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy !!
I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind he’s burned to the ground.
It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."
PM: "Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. W'e will be ruined."
Hilth Munister: "We're going to haf to shup some in from Brutain ?"
PM: "No chence. The Poms will have a field day on thus one."
Hilth Munister: "What about Australia ?"
PM: "I'll call the Aussies.
Tell them we need one million condoms, ten enches long and four enches thuck.
That way they'll continue to respect the 'All Blacks'."
Three days later a delighted John rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Pist Office.
He finds one million condoms - 10 enches long, 4 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.
"MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM"
Current Cars:
2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
2008 RRS, TDV8
1995 VS Clubsport
Previous Cars:
2008 ML63, V8
2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion
'Britain is the only country where the food is more dangerous than the sex.'
Jackie Mason, comedian.
Prince Charles, addressing an Australia Day dinner:
'Al the faces here seem to be bloody Poms!'
Oscar Wilde: 'Of course, America had been discovered many times before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.'
W. C. Fields: 'I never vote for anyone, only against.'
ChatterBox
SubscriberI remember when I was a kid you could go to the store ................................... and BUY a small packet of Craven A (filter tip), a box of matches and 8 chocolate coated licorice bullets for 2/- (20 cents) and no one cared that you were just a 'naughty' 10 years oldOriginally Posted by Xtreme
Deano
66 SIIA SWB .......73 SIII LWB diesel wgn
86 RR 'classic'......99 Range Rover P38a
94 Defender 110..95 Defender 130 Ute
96 D1 300TDi.......99 D2 TD5 (current)
04 D2a Td5..........02 Disco 2 V8
Very Very Lucky!
I love Cheese shops.
I fart quietly and smile as I hear people talking about the delicious smells
Just kidding
Cynical Moi?
I love Cheese shops.
I fart quietly and smile as I hear people talking about the delicious smells
You should consult a GP about that problem James, I believe you can get Charcoal Tablets to sort you out. BTW.. 5 Staff, they must be doing well.
Posting Permissions
| Search AULRO.com ONLY! |
Search All the Web! |
|---|
|
|
|
Bookmarks