Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by Blknight.aus

Theres 4 types of orgasms....

theres the positive...

when youve got her going oh yessss, yess oh yes....

the negative.

when shes giving it, no, nooooo oh nooo no...

the religious which goes thusly, god, god, Ohhh God thats good.

and the fake orgasm which goes something like this.


Oh Dobbo.

OUCH!

There were five houses of religion in a small Texas town:
The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church , the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue.

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In The BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
Now they only see them on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

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Trust the Irish.

Click here to listen

Text:
No one as Irish as Barack OBama

O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama

You don’t believe me, I hear you say
But Barack’s as Irish, as was JFK
His granddaddy’s daddy came from Moneygall
A small Irish village, well known to you all

Toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a lama
There’s no one as Irish As Barack O’Bama

He’s as Irish as bacon and cabbage and stew
He’s Hawaiian he’s Kenyan American too
He’s in the white house, He took his chance
Now let’s see Barack do Riverdance

Toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a lama
There’s no one as Irish As Barack O’Bama

From Kerry and cork to old Donegal
Let’s hear it for Barack from old moneygall
From the lakes if Killarney to old Connemara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama

O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama
From the old blarney stone to the great hill of Tara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama

2008 the white house is green,their cheering in Mayo and in Skibereen.
The Irish in Kenya, and in Yokahama,
Are cheering for President Barack O’Bama

O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama

The Hockey Moms gone, and so is McCain
They are cheering in Texas and in Borrisokane,

In Moneygall town, the greatest of drama, for our Famous president Barack o Bama

Toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a loo, toor a lama
There’s no one as Irish As Barack O’Bama

The great Stephen Neill, a great man of God,
He proved that Barack was from the Auld Sod
They came by bus and they came by car, to celebrate Barack in Ollie Hayes’s Bar

O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara
There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama

By

Hardy Drew

Originally Posted by Blknight.aus

Bentley Forums.......

Dave you forgot:

Land Rover Australia Forum:
Does anyone have addresses of all the Land Rover Dealers in Aus? I'd like to send them both a Christmas card.

Originally Posted by Sleepy

Dave you forgot:

Land Rover Australia Forum:
Does anyone have addresses of all the Land Rover Dealers in Aus? I'd like to send them both a Christmas card.

Originally Posted by Blknight.aus

Theres 4 types of orgasms....

............................

and the fake orgasm which goes something like this.


Oh Dobbo.

sounds more like a disappointment than an orgasm

Maybe it was orgasmicly dissapointing?