Thread: Jokes

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What you doing?" she asked,
"Hunting flies," he replied,
"Oh, have you killed any?"
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he answers proudly
Intrigued, the Wife asked, "How can you tell them apart?"
Husband says "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

A man and woman had been married for more than 63 years. They'd shared everything. They'd talked about everything. They'd kept no secrets from each other except that herself had a shoe box in the top of the wardrobe and she'd warned her husband never to open or ask her about it.
For all of their 63 years, he'd never thought about the box, but one day his wife got very sick and the doctor said she would take time to heal.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the husband took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling €95,000.
He asked her about the contents.
'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me that the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'
The husband was so moved, he had to fight back the tears.
Only two little dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with Happiness.
"Oh darlin" he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money?
Where did it come from?"
"Oh," she answered, "that's the money I made from selling all the dolls".

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Originally Posted by sashadidi

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Has get up & go turned into a get up & do bugger all?
Some folk have no ambition.

Originally Posted by 4bee

Has get up & go turned into a get up & do bugger all?
Some folk have no ambition.

I suppose you could say, at least that person (being politically correct here) is honest!!

Originally Posted by OldGuy

I suppose you could say, at least that person (being politically correct here) is honest!!

We'd all better check our windows

Pinched of another site. Couldn't stop laughing...