Jokes

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NavyDiver

A salty Sailor walks into a bar with a ship’s steering wheel in his pants.


The bartender says: “Hey, did you know you’ve got a steering wheel in your pants?”


“Aye, sir that it be, “says the Sailor , “it’s driving me nuts!”

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Ship's wheels being the shape they are & with many Hand Controls on the perimeter, you'd hope said Salty one would know which hand piece to grab in an emergency & not get mixed up with similarly shaped protrusions. [bigrolf]

NEW SENIOR EXAM

This test will keep that dreaded disease that affects your memory at bay!

New Senior's Exam, you only need 4 correct out of 10 questions to pass.

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Kiwifruit from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.


Check your answers below ...














ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8 ) What color is a purple finch?
Crimson
9) Where are Kiwifruit from?
China
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange (of course)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gav 110

NEW SENIOR EXAM

This test will keep that dreaded disease that affects your memory at bay!

New Senior's Exam, you only need 4 correct out of 10 questions to pass.

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Kiwifruit from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.


Check your answers below ...














ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8 ) What color is a purple finch?
Crimson
9) Where are Kiwifruit from?
China
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange (of course)

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I got one right. Does that mean I don't qualify to be a senior citizen?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Disco-tastic

I got one right. Does that mean I don't qualify to be a senior citizen?

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Don't knock it Dt it's ok really, except when one gets older.
[bighmmm]

Have you ever had a great phone call?
You know, one that lifts you up, making you feel great.
A warm fuzzy feeling, totally makes your day.

Then, 2 minutes later, you get another call. which goes;

Sad news, your ex wife was in an accident, she's in the Hospital,
doctors don't think she'll make it.......

You reply;
yeah, I just heard...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Disco-tastic

I got one right. Does that mean I don't qualify to be a senior citizen?

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There is no explanation to what a “pass” is
I think if you got more than 4 right, you wouldn’t qualify to be a senior citizen[emoji848]

I got them all right until I read the answers, then it was only two right☹️ (and the rest to the left)

[emoji481][emoji481]

I got them all right.
Which worries me that I know so much absolutely useless information yet can not remember what day of the week it is.
It also worries me that I know how to use a rotary dial phone, an SLR camera, a hand written diary, a VCR machine, how to play board games & to turn my head when reversing without using any sort of camera.
I must be getting really old.
Jonesfam

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jonesfam

I got them all right.
Which worries me that I know so much absolutely useless information yet can not remember what day of the week it is.
It also worries me that I know how to use a rotary dial phone, an SLR camera, a hand written diary, a VCR machine, how to play board games & to turn my head when reversing without using any sort of camera.
I must be getting really old.
Jonesfam

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IF you can turn your head sufficiently to reverse... then you ain't OLD

And I've used a Party Line phone... and a Speed Graphic.[bigsad]

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jonesfam

I got them all right.
Which worries me that I know so much absolutely useless information yet can not remember what day of the week it is.
It also worries me that I know how to use a rotary dial phone, an SLR camera, a hand written diary, a VCR machine, how to play board games & to turn my head when reversing without using any sort of camera.
I must be getting really old.
Jonesfam

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[bigrolf]Well obviously when reversing, if one doesn't turn one's bonce then one will likely plough into a Palm Tree.:Rolling::BigCry:


**** IT!

Surely the Canary Islands are in the Atlantic?????