Because there are no cheap Land Rovers. [bigrolf]Quote:
Originally Posted by p38arover
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Because there are no cheap Land Rovers. [bigrolf]Quote:
Originally Posted by p38arover
Q. For what does DNA stand forQuote:
Originally Posted by V8Ian
A. National Dyslexic Association.
Old MacDonald was dyslexic, IOIOE.
LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION
1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Trevor is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Trevor can be
10 classed as a high-calibre employee, the type that cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I truly recommend that Trevor be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.
Addendum: Said employee was standing over my shoulder while I wrote this report. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered lines.
Sincere apologies to those affected...Quote:
Originally Posted by NavyDiver
"Friendly fire."
Q. Which cheese does one use to tempt a bear out of a cave?
A. Come-on-bear.
The most popular colour for garden gnome hats is red, which is a little gnome fact.
I was asked at an interview how well I performed under pressure, I said I did a better version of "Bohemian Rhapsody".
Q. Where do cats like to go on family outings?
A. The mew-seum.
Q. How does a mouse feel after a shower?
A. Squeaky clean.
Mum Jokes (candobooks.com.au)
Quote:
Originally Posted by RANDLOVER
Quote:
I was asked at an interview how well I performed under pressure, I said I did a better version of "Bohemian Rhapsody".
I'd be"The Flight of the Bumble Bee" :Rolling:
Huh. I'd be "Another one bites the dust".Quote:
Originally Posted by 4bee
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
