Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by mox

This highlights the misconception that is widely held by many people who have never experienced nudism/ naturism in a social situation such as a nude beach that going nude equates with sexual activity. Unfortunately the behaviour of a few idiots who seem to take this view can spoil nude beaches for the majority. On nude beaches where such misbehaviour is kept under control most women frequenting them could not care who sees them nude. However few are likely to make themselves available for sex other than with a bloke they are in some sort of relationship with and it would be done in private anyway. Many prostitutes would have a similar approach. Sex only with a boyfriend or with clients who pay the right price and otherwise behave themselves.


I found it interesting to note once in a social situation where others were skinny dipping, the attitude of a woman who had worked as a prostitute before and since who was there with her then boyfriend. She was a real prude and would not even take her top off!

What's the punch line?

Originally Posted by bacicat

What's the punch line?

i think he got shafted

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion..

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.

The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was on the dole in Australia but about to fly home
to watch theRugby World Cup and was not feeling well,

So he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu
that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the
only cure was testicular removal.

"No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also
advised him that testicular removal was the only cure.
Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around
the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last
opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate
suckness ey."

"What's the cure thin doc ?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu,
"those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

The Male Fairy Story

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?”
The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to strip bars and dated women half his age
and drank whisky, beer and Captain Morgans and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and golf clubs and ate spam and chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.
The End

An aussie,a scot,a kiwi and a german were standing on a cruise ship together.The german produces a huge wurst,takes a bite and throws the rest overboard.The aussie says"what did you do that for?'The german replies"ve haf plenty of these in chermany".The scot produces a large bottle of top shelf whisky,takes a swig and throws the rest overboard."och we've noo end of this in scotland".So the aussie,not to be outdone,picks up the kiwi and throws him overboard!

Drover: "Give me three packets of condoms, please."


Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"


Drover: "Nah.... She ain't that ugly."

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution the revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.

Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, "Hey, I see what your problem is ..."