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Thread: Jokes

  1. #4491
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fifth Columnist View Post
    Statistics show that vegetarians live on average ten years longer than meat eaters.

    Ten long miserable years.
    Actually, they don't... and THAT's the joke ...

  2. #4492
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    It just feels like ten extra years!

  3. #4493
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    Does anyone else find that Vampires are a pain in the neck?

  4. #4494
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fifth Columnist View Post
    Does anyone else find that Vampires are a pain in the neck?
    Yeah, they really suck!
    -----
    You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
    -----

    1999 Disco TD5 ("Bluey")
    1996 Disco 300 TDi ("Slo-Mo")
    1995 P38A 4.6 HSE ("The Limo")
    1966 No 5 Trailer (ARN 173 075) soon to be camper
    -----

  5. #4495
    cuppabillytea's Avatar
    cuppabillytea is offline Loud Mouthed Rat Bag Gold Subscriber
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    And they refuse to work day shifts.
    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.

  6. #4496
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    People are always amazed at the skilled Tattoo Artists in Spain.


    No one expects the Spanish ink precision...
    Mark

    Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

    2015 TDV6 D4.... the latest project... Llams, Traxide, Icom 455, Tuffant Kimberleys and Mofos.... so far.
    2012 SDV6 SE D4 with some stuff... gone...
    2003 D2a TD5...gone...
    2000 D2 V8...gone...
    https://bymark.photography


  7. #4497
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    I am inquisitive about that!
    Jim VK2MAD
    -------------------------
    '17 Isuzu D-Max

  8. #4498
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    The Dog

    As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $20 and a note in his
    mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a
    bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop.He follows the
    dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, then trots
    across the road to a bus-stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on
    the bench.When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the
    number, then boards the bus.The butcher follows, dumbstruck.As the bus
    travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After a while he
    stands on his back paws to push the "stop" bell, and then the butcher
    follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step.
    He barks repeatedly. No answer. He goes back down the path,takes a big
    run,and throws himself (Whap!) against the door. He does this again and
    again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, barks
    repeatedly at a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door.

    Eventually a small guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog .
    The butcher runs up screams at the guy:

    "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!

    ”The owner responds, "Genius, my arse.

    It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
    Roger


  9. #4499
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    Laugh at your problems , everybody else does .

  10. #4500
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    My psychiatrist told me i was crazy and i said i want a second opinion . He said okay, your ugly too .

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