Thread: Jokes

Anyone else noticed that if you sit and stare at a green traffic light it makes a noise like a car horn?

My wife told me I have two faults.
I don't listen .......... and something else.

Sorry Gents. This might sting a little


The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.

"Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."

"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.

"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."

Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but the men nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked. Then the patient's daughter asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"

"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women's brains have to be marked down because they are used."

URGENT - WORKERS REQUIRED


We need 10 people to work at a large event, on the 30th and 31st this month !!!
$800.00 per day.
$1600 cash for the 2 days!
Anyone available??????


SERIOUS WORKERS ONLY!!!!

Originally Posted by Eevo

URGENT - WORKERS REQUIRED


We need 10 people to work at a large event, on the 30th and 31st this month !!!
$800.00 per day.
$1600 cash for the 2 days!
Anyone available??????


SERIOUS WORKERS ONLY!!!!

Sorry , can only do the eleventy fifth of this month

I took the shell off my pet snail to see if it would make him go faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.

My granddad died a few weeks after my grandma passed away. At first, we thought he died of a broken heart - but it turned out he couldn't cook.

I have a quite a few jokes about cash machines.
I just can't think of any ATM.