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Thread: Jokes

  1. 18th June 2019, 06:19 PM #5191
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    Last month one of my mates was shot over 200 times with an upholstery gun.


    I'm happy to say he's now fully recovered.
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  2. 19th June 2019, 05:12 PM #5192
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    Are people born with photographic memories,


    or do they take time to develop?
    Current Cars:
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  3. 21st June 2019, 09:33 PM #5193
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    Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian.


    I thought it was the least I could do for him.
    Current Cars:
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  4. 22nd June 2019, 06:28 AM #5194
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    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Because it was egged on!
    Jim VK2MAD
    -------------------------
    '17 Isuzu D-Max
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  5. 22nd June 2019, 08:55 AM #5195
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eevo View Post
    Are people born with photographic memories,


    or do they take time to develop?
    I've got a photographic memory, just no film.Jokes
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  6. 23rd June 2019, 05:04 AM #5196
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    Which building has the most stories?
    The library.
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  7. 23rd June 2019, 07:17 PM #5197
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    About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
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  8. 24th June 2019, 04:38 PM #5198
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    I went to the liquor store yesterday on my motorcycle, bought a bottle of whisky and put it in my backpack. As i was about to leave, i thought to myself that if i fell off the motorcycle, the bottle would break so i drank all the whisky before i rode home. Finally it turned out to be a good decision because i fell off my motorcycle 7 times on the way home. Imagine what would've happened to the bottle
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion
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  9. 26th June 2019, 01:36 AM #5199
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    My wife told me to put tomato sauce on the shopping list.


    Can't read a bloody word of it now.
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion
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  10. 26th June 2019, 05:03 PM #5200
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    My mother in law bought a talking parrot, but she took it back to the store a week later.


    "This parrot hasn't said a word", she complained.


    "I haven't had a ****ing chance yet", replied the parrot.
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion
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