Thread: Jokes

Doctor: just try to avoid eating anything fatty.

Patient: What like Sausage and Chips?

Doctor: No fatty, just try to avoid eating anything

Originally Posted by Fifth Columnist

Doctor: just try to avoid eating anything fatty.

Patient: What like Sausage and Chips?

Doctor: No fatty, just try to avoid eating anything

thats a garry delaney joke.
love his work.

The kids have been throwing Scrabble tiles at each other again.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an I.

Originally Posted by Eevo

The kids have been throwing Scrabble tiles at each other again.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an I.

im at a loss for words

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One day, the Pope is super early for his flight. He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn’t driven a car since becoming the Pope.
Naturally, he’s a bit rusty, so he’s driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the Pope “Hold on for a minute,” and goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: “Chief we have a situation. I’ve pulled over an important figure.”
Chief: “How important? A governor or something?”
Cop: “No sir. He’s bigger.”
Chief: “So, what? a celebrity or something?”
Cop: “More important, sir.”
Chief: “A major politician?”
Cop: “No sir, he’s much more important.”
Chief: “WELL WHO IS IT!?”
Cop: “Well actually I’m not sure. But the Pope’s his driver.”

Important_Safety_Warning.jpg

Originally Posted by RANDLOVER

If anyone complains about my height, I tell them I'm over six foot tall if I stand on my wallet.

I'm often asked how tall I am. My stock answer is "Eight feet, with an umbrella up."