Thread: Jokes

Apparently you can't use 'beefstew' as a password ......... it's not 'stroganoff'.

I'm sorry in advance for posting this..

Classic....

https://mobile.twitter.com/anorderly...63199201484801

Very few people know Quasimodo was one of 3 almost identical hunch-back brothers who lived quietly hidden in the spire (now burned down) of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, their job was to ring the church bells.

It came about one Sunday morning as the people were arriving, Quasimodo was ringing away on the largest bell when it broke free and crashed to the floor and started to roll towards the window. Quasimodo being a faithful servant tried to stop it with no avail and the bell with Quasimodo hanging on grimly crashed through the window, bounced once near the crowd and plunged into the Seine. Everyone rushed over aghast at the accident staring at the bubbles until a gendarme called out to be quiet. In the silence you could hear faint singing coming from under the water - "I'm ringing in the Seine, ringing in the Seine!"

As a result of Quasimodo's unfortunate demise his next eldest brother was appointed bell-ringer. Sadly this brother was even more seriously handicapped than Quasimodo without the use of his arms so he developed a technique of ringing the bell by charging it and hitting his head giving a loud but somewhat more muted sound than the standard clapper. Brother two carried out his work enthusiastically until one day he slipped during his ringing charge and plunged out the window and crashed to his death on cathedral steps just as the Bishop was arriving. "My goodness" cried the Bishop to his church deacon, "Who is that". The deacon replied "I am not really sure but his face rings a bell"

Not to be outdone the Quasimodo family carried on their work with the third brother. This chap was also very enthusiastic and provided great bell-ringing service to the church until, would you believe it, he also slipped in the belfry and plunged out the same window as his two brothers, crashing to his death upon the steps just as the Bishop was arriving. Once again the Bishop was aghast and asked his deacon who this poor unfortunate man was. The deacon replied "That is Quasimodo three he is a dead ringer for his brother"

Originally Posted by V8Ian

Very few people know Quasimodo was one of 3 almost identical hunch-back brothers who lived quietly hidden in the spire (now burned down) of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, their job was to ring the church bells.

It came about one Sunday morning as the people were arriving, Quasimodo was ringing away on the largest bell when it broke free and crashed to the floor and started to roll towards the window. Quasimodo being a faithful servant tried to stop it with no avail and the bell with Quasimodo hanging on grimly crashed through the window, bounced once near the crowd and plunged into the Seine. Everyone rushed over aghast at the accident staring at the bubbles until a gendarme called out to be quiet. In the silence you could hear faint singing coming from under the water - "I'm ringing in the Seine, ringing in the Seine!"

As a result of Quasimodo's unfortunate demise his next eldest brother was appointed bell-ringer. Sadly this brother was even more seriously handicapped than Quasimodo without the use of his arms so he developed a technique of ringing the bell by charging it and hitting his head giving a loud but somewhat more muted sound than the standard clapper. Brother two carried out his work enthusiastically until one day he slipped during his ringing charge and plunged out the window and crashed to his death on cathedral steps just as the Bishop was arriving. "My goodness" cried the Bishop to his church deacon, "Who is that". The deacon replied "I am not really sure but his face rings a bell"


COLOR=#333333]Not to be outdone the Quasimodo family carried on their work with the third brother. This chap was also very enthusiastic and provided great bell-ringing service to the church until, would you believe it, he also slipped in the belfry and plunged out the same window as his two brothers, crashing to his death upon the steps just as the Bishop was arriving. Once again the Bishop was aghast and asked his deacon who this poor unfortunate man was. The deacon replied "That is Quasimodo three he is a dead ringer for his brother"[/COLOR]

Brillamment conçu cet homme !

1. I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn’t get pasta – Masai Graham
2. Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it’s next day delivery? – Mark Simmons
3. My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock – Olaf Falafel
4. By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I, but it is the same house and the same family – Hannah Fairweather
5. I hate funerals. I’m not a mourning person – Will Mars
6. I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that’s four hours of my life that I’m definitely getting back – Olaf Falafel
7. I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx – Richard Pulsford
8. I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life? Cutlery – Tim Vine
9. Don’t knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate – Sophie Duker
10. I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days – Will Duggan

When you're dead you don't know you're dead ............. the pain is only felt by others.
The same thing happens when you're stupid.

Instead of a sign that says "Do not disturb"
I need one that says "Already disturbed, proceed with caution".