Thread: Embarrassment

Originally Posted by banjo

No for 23 years i had know idea i was doing wrong.use pointed that out so i did something to late appently..do u think i would of did what i did if i knew it was hurting Karen or the kids..I dont think so..

Banjo, I don't buy that, you are telling me that you went from a diesel mechanic working a normal job ( even though you had your problems) to being totally reclusive and not saying to yourself that there is not a problem?? Look, I'm not trying to be nasty but there seems to be a period here of 23 years and you did nothing??? It seems to me that you were in a comfy zone and you had Karen wrapped around your finger with the excuse that your father did bad things to you??? Now lets rehash here, what is going on, my father also was a wife basher and I witnessed it as a kid, another poster on this Thread also witnessed wife bashing from an alcoholic father and we have got on with life.
I am considerably older than you and nothing would please me more than you to tackle this problem and beat it. I am not going to cosy up to you and say "Poor Banjo" because that does not help. I see you have taken some small steps to seek help and I say "Banjo Go For It"

Cheers again and good luck!!!!

If you get on here tonight Jason - thanks for your kind words.

Hang in there mate its tough but we are all still with you and you are definitely heading in the right direction.

As I have said before - the night is always darkest just before the dawn.

Yes use did see wife bashing but did use actualy feel the hits the mental abuse & all that stuff How much of it did use actualy physicly feel besides just seeing it....I have seen it felt it & lived it..No that not an excuse but use have to realise the scaring is a hell of a lot deep when u have felt it....

I have to resend the email as i have been useing our home email to check my emails but haven't set up the wireless so i can send them so i will try & work that out today...


Those are my last words I am learnly out of net & i gave my money to karen & the kids as i have enough food & **** to see me through till thursday when i get paid...

I'm not going to get into slinging matches here with use its not worth it as i dont stand up for myself so i wont be back on anymore....THANKS..

Just keep being positive mate. You've made a start, so keep going...

I suffer from bi-polar and panic attacks... I survive on a medley of pills (Epilim, Abilify, Seroquel (800mg at night lol) and good old Xanax)... just the other day I had to drive into the city & had a helluva job getting across the Bolte bridge as it felt like I was going to have a heart attack... I know the bridge isn't going to fall down, but it still gives me the heebie-jeebies something fierce. I was totally covered in sweat by the time I got over it.

I've been in and out of psych wards several times both here and in the US. In fact I am going for a study for the "Survey of High Impact Psychosis" on the 12th.

I also have been fired from virtually every job I've had due to absenteeism- those were the days when I just couldn't get out the door.

Luckily now I have a new partner that supports me (and makes sure I take my pills lol) and things for me are way better now... I haven't been suicidal for almost 3 years... last time I took a whole bunch of pills & got arrested and taken to hospital.

Thing is that you have to set yourself small goals and just proceed from there... baby steps is what's called for.

I dunno why I wrote all this lol but I guess I just wanted to let you know that there are others out there that can sympathise & maybe help.

Google MDJunction and join some of the support groups there- they're really nice people, plus they understand exactly what you're going through.

Cheers,
Dave

Thanks Dave i will do that first thing in the morning again thanks for that..


This is what happens when i am left alone & get bored & left to my own devises..







I think i realy mite need a new hobby....

How long did that take you Jason?

Originally Posted by Stuuu

How long did that take you Jason?

Just a tad over 2 hours ..& they hurt like hell while doing them....