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Thread: Jokes

  1. #4451
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    The early bird might get the worm , but the second mouse gets the cheese .

  2. #4452
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    If you can start the day without caffeine,If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,If you can face the world without lies and deceit,If you can conquer tension without medical help,If you can relax without liquor,If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,Then you are probably a dog
    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking

  3. #4453
    Homestar's Avatar
    Homestar is offline Super Moderator & CA manager Subscriber
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    I bought a cheap Thesuarus today. It was terrible. It was also - terrible.
    If you need to contact me please email homestarrunnerau@gmail.com - thanks - Gav.

  4. #4454
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    Homestar is offline Super Moderator & CA manager Subscriber
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    I joined a Tourettes group today - took them 4 hours to swear me in.
    If you need to contact me please email homestarrunnerau@gmail.com - thanks - Gav.

  5. #4455
    Homestar's Avatar
    Homestar is offline Super Moderator & CA manager Subscriber
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    I wonder if the Wright Brothers knew how much their invention wouod take off?
    If you need to contact me please email homestarrunnerau@gmail.com - thanks - Gav.

  6. #4456
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    Is French oral as good as it sounds?
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
    OKApotamus #74
    Nanocom, D2 TD5 only.

  7. #4457
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    I want to die peacefully in my sleep , like my Grandfather . Not screaming and yelling like the passangers in his car .

  8. #4458
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  9. #4459
    DiscoMick Guest
    Something I read today:
    The USA Marines - the most effective method ever invented for killing Americans.

  10. #4460
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bytemrk View Post
    Apparently you can't use "beefstew" as a password.




    It's not stoganoff
    Shame about the errant 'r', Mark. Coulda been funny else....
    ​JayTee

    Nullus Anxietus

    Cancer is gender blind.

    2000 D2 TD5 Auto: Tins
    1994 D1 300TDi Manual: Dave
    1980 SIII Petrol Tray: Doris
    OKApotamus #74
    Nanocom, D2 TD5 only.

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