Thread: Jokes

Heard a bloke got shot with a starter's pistol. Police think it may be race related.

Eventually everyone has to get married, as there are some things that just can't be blamed on the government.

A newlywed couple gets a special present for their nuptials: a*brand new sports car. As they leave the wedding reception, they are so excited they drive faster than they ever had before.
"I'll make you a deal," said the groom with a smile. "If I do 200mph, you take off your dress. Deal?" he asked.
"Yes!" said his adventurous wife.
As he approached 200mph, she begins to peel off her dress.
With him unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car soon skidded on some gravel and flipped over. The bride, now stark naked, was fine, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. *
"Go and get help!" he cried.
"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"
"Take my shoe and cover yourself," he said. *
Holding the shoe over her lady garden, the bride ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor: "Please help me! My husband's stuck!" *

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said: "There's nothing I can do... he's in too far."

Originally Posted by Fifth Columnist

Pffffft. Puhun itselleni ja nukahan ennen kuin päädyt ensimmäiseen........

Hah hah. How did that happen? I became a Viking in my sleep.

“It’s a boy!”, I shouted with tears rolling down my face.
“I don’t believe it, it’s a boy!”

It’s at that moment I decided I’d never visit Thailand again.

Originally Posted by RANDLOVER

VW is bringing out a new electric car, it's going to be called a "Voltswagen".

Get ready for VoltsGate.

Will it be made in Poland?

Do you recharge it with Voltarin?