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Thread: Jokes

  1. #5881
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    The new Gold Coast, after ocean rises,Queensland
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    2 bananas were lying on a riverbank when a turd came floating by...

    the turd looked over at the 2 bananas and said,"come on in the waters fine"...

    1 banana turned to 2 banana and said, "really...can you believe that ****?"

  2. #5882
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Mornington Peninsula, Victoria
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    As if it wasn't bad enough being Dyslexic, now I've got the Racoon virus.

  3. #5883
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    Київ
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    დიდება უკრაინას
    Рашка парашка

  4. #5884
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
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    I told my wife that husbands are like wine, they get better with age.


    So she's locked me in the cellar.
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion

  5. #5885
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Adelaide Hills. South Australia
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eevo View Post
    I told my wife that husbands are like wine, they get better with age.


    So she's locked me in the cellar.

    You lucky, lucky bastard! I hope that happened after you brought in your Autumn/Winter stock of Adelaide Hills Reds? Oh bugger it, whites too.

  6. #5886
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
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    Someone threw a huge bottle of Omega 3 pills at me last night.


    I'm fine though, only super fish oil injuries.
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion

  7. #5887
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Cloncurry NWQ
    Posts
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    Not long after marrage I took off my wedding ring.
    My wife asked why I dont wear my wedding ring?
    I told her "It cuts of my circulation."
    She said,
    "It's supposed to!"

  8. #5888
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Київ
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    Doing the DYI the wife wanted me to do today......

    https://mobile.twitter.com/holdmyale...17882461696001
    დიდება უკრაინას
    Рашка парашка

  9. #5889
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Adelaide Hills
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    This morning I spotted an albino Dalmatian.


    It was the least I could do for the poor thing
    Current Cars:
    2013 E3 Maloo, 350kw
    2008 RRS, TDV8
    1995 VS Clubsport

    Previous Cars:
    2008 ML63, V8
    2002 VY SS Ute, 300kw
    2002 Disco 2, LS1 conversion

  10. #5890
    Join Date
    Jan 1970
    Location
    Normanhurst, NSW
    Posts
    10,258
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    So technically showing up at the bank in a mask and gloves is OK now.

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