Jokes

**Chenz** · 21st December 2020, 03:55 PM

An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital.
Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.
"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon.
"The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm."
"Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"
"The good news is... I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission
before I can go ahead with the transplant."
"Go for it Doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.
"Just great," says the golfer. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my
putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon.
"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and
I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolours."
"That’s unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you
having any side effects?"
"Well, just two”, said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an erection, I also get a
headache.”

**Chenz** · 21st December 2020, 03:57 PM

On her first day at the senior aging complex the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:
"The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males, and the male dormitory to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
She continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, an older lady named Annie stood up in the crowd and inquired: "How much for a season pass?"

**jx2mad** · 22nd December 2020, 12:36 PM

Which has the most legs, a dog, or no dog? Answer coming later to give you time to think

**rick130** · 22nd December 2020, 06:16 PM

**jx2mad** · 23rd December 2020, 05:15 AM

OK.I will give you the answer... No dog. Why?
..
.
.
.
.
.
.Because...No dog has six legs and a dog has four.

**350RRC** · 23rd December 2020, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by rick130

That lower pic is the exercise for ulnar nerve pain as used by cello players. Works in less than a minute.

A bit simpler and cheaper than what US surgeons do to find where it's caught............ look in your neck, shoulder, elbow, forearm, wrist.........

DL

**rick130** · 23rd December 2020, 09:03 AM

Originally Posted by 350RRC

That lower pic is the exercise for ulnar nerve pain as used by cello players. Works in less than a minute.

A bit simpler and cheaper than what US surgeons do to find where it's caught............ look in your neck, shoulder, elbow, forearm, wrist.........

DL

Sweet.
That's one to research further and file away for future use.
Cheers.

**Saitch** · 23rd December 2020, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by rick130

Sweet.
That's one to research further and file away for future use.
Cheers.

Umm, cello players, Rick. Cello! Not chiller!

**4bee** · 23rd December 2020, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by Saitch

Umm, cello players, Rick. Cello! Not chiller!

**rick130** · 23rd December 2020, 10:26 AM

Originally Posted by Saitch

Umm, cello players, Rick. Cello! Not chiller!

Ooh....

Yoga teacher Rick is filing it away for further research though

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