Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by dobbo

Considering your profession that is one of the funniest things I have read in this thread


Sorry VM I have to agree though, or at least put that fast keystroke to some good

How do you know i type fast?

Today is Einstein's birthday. He would have been 107.

Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa
Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919.

He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed, and
postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts; the
attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection.

This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.






Mark

Originally Posted by Quiggers

I think Kep Enderby said it in jest, hoping someone may pick him up....(yours): "Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery

It's also been attributed to GWBush, who said it for real......

In Bush's case, it's a perfectly reasonable statement.

The USA has land links to directly to Canada and Mexico so imports from those countries don't come from overseas.

Imports from South America could come overland, not necessarily from overseas.

Ron

if these posts keep coming like this we're not going to need to re-instate the stars thread this one will replace it...

so any way...


the little old lady lived in a nice blue house with a nice blue driveway and a nice blue path, the grass naturally was genetically modified to be blue... the fence was blue even the sky was blue..

one day a nice man wearing a blue hat and a blue jacket walked up the blue path to the blue steps climbed them and approached the blue door. Searching for a second he saw the blue button on the blue facia and pressed it, sure enough "blue blue" went the hidden blue door bell inside the blue house behind the blue door.

soon the steps of the little old lady in blue were to be heard coming down the inside steps of the blue house and she, in due time, opened the blue door to reveal through its blue frame a wonderous blue interior.

The man in the blue hat and the blue jacket flicked his head back and whipped open his blue jacket the blue hat falling off in the process. To the old blue ladies shock and bewilderment he was naked and he was green, In her bedazzlement and confusion she paniced and ran down the blue path over the blue kerb to be crushed by a big truck on her journy across the road, natually she bled gentically modified blue blood.

The moral of the story?

Dont cross the street if the green man is flashing.

Originally Posted by Blknight.aus

if these posts keep coming like this we're not going to need to re-instate the stars thread this one will replace it...

so any way...


the little old lady lived in a nice blue house with a nice blue driveway and a nice blue path, the grass naturally was genetically modified to be blue... the fence was blue even the sky was blue..

one day a nice man wearing a blue hat and a blue jacket walked up the blue path to the blue steps climbed them and approached the blue door. Searching for a second he saw the blue button on the blue facia and pressed it, sure enough "blue blue" went the hidden blue door bell inside the blue house behind the blue door.

soon the steps of the little old lady in blue were to be heard coming down the inside steps of the blue house and she, in due time, opened the blue door to reveal through its blue frame a wonderous blue interior.

The man in the blue hat and the blue jacket flicked his head back and whipped open his blue jacket the blue hat falling off in the process. To the old blue ladies shock and bewilderment he was naked and he was green, In her bedazzlement and confusion she paniced and ran down the blue path over the blue kerb to be crushed by a big truck on her journy across the road, natually she bled gentically modified blue blood.

The moral of the story?

Dont cross the street if the green man is flashing.

Is there one a about a RED man?

Originally Posted by Bytemrk

Today is Einstein's birthday. He would have been 107.

Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa
Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919.

He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed, and
postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts; the
attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection.

This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty.



Mark

ROLMAO!!!!!

Originally Posted by Vandermorph

Is there one a about a RED man?

yeah, some places flash the green man others flash the red Ive even seen one place where on one side of the street the red man flashed but going the other way the green man flashed..... the joke varies to suit.

Originally Posted by Blknight.aus

yeah, some places flash the green man others flash the red Ive even seen one place where on one side of the street the red man flashed but going the other way the green man flashed..... the joke varies to suit.

Okay well it was a good one! It suits the occasion just fine