Thread: Jokes

tempting .........

Originally Posted by AndyG

tempting .........

I'm not seeing a problem here.

Originally Posted by AndyG

tempting .........

Which he presumably prefaced with HAVE A GO YA MUG!
Sorry Kiwis,

A man is waiting at the airport arrivals for his partner to collect him, when an officer approaches. Sternly, he says "I’m sorry sir, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a bus"
Unphased, the man replies, "Yes I know officer, but she does all sorts of crazy things in the bedroom, and is good with kids too!"

WHY WOMEN SHOULD AVOID A GIRLS NIGHT OUT AFTER THEY'RE MARRIED!

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I
told my husband that I would be home by midnight , "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down WAY too easy. Around 3:00 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got
in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed
another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in
order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally
smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I
told him midnight!
He didn't seem ****ed off at all. Got away with that one! Then he
said," We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why? He
said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said,
"Oh sh#@.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped over the coffee table and farted.

While traveling west Africa I came across 2 cannibals who had just eaten a clown .


One looked at the other and said" does he taste funny to you " !!

Originally Posted by rigopronacan

While traveling west Africa I came across 2 cannibals who had just eaten a clown .


One looked at the other and said" does he taste funny to you " !!

Welcome to the Forum rigopronacan.
Lets hope you mean to carry on as you've begun.

A cannibal invites his friends around for dinner. As they're tucking into the starter, the guest says
"I must say, your wife make a lovely stew."
"I know." answers the host longingly "I sure will miss her."

****

Two cannibals have captured, and are sharing a feast of lost tourist. "You start at the feet. I'll start at the head" says the first cannibal.
After a little while he notices his friend hasn't said much. "Are you OK?" he asks, attempting to start some dinner time conversation.
"I'm fine." Comes the reply. "I'm having a ball."
"You're eating too fast, you'll get indigestion!"