Thread: Jokes

The first rule of passive aggressive club is....
You know what, nevermind. It's fine.

My uncle went from being a 20 stone body builder to a 9 stone weakling in 6 weeks. He was later presented with atrophy.

My girlfriend, Lorraine, left me today.
She found out I was shagging Claire Lee.
It’s ok though.
I can see Claire Lee now that Lorraine has gone.

I really enjoy telling dad jokes



Sometimes he even laughs

1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

3. The world body building champion died at the age of 41

4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.

5. James Fuller Fixx credited with helping start America's fitness revolution by popularizing the sport of running died of a heart attack while jogging at 52 years of age.

BUT

5. The KFC inventor died at 94.

6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102

8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake

9.And the Hennessey Liquor inventor died at 98.


How did these doctors cometo the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.

So, take some rest, chill, stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life.

A Navy one- The Admiral was on board for an exercise and was impresses when his brew turned up with a biscut with the Navy Crest stamped neatly on each of his biscuits. Impressed- he went to visit the galley and asked the Chief how he did it with the hope to rolling than neat trick out on all navy ships.

The Chief cook showed him. Each time a biscuit dough was cut he slapped it against his belt buckle and the result was a perfect Navy Crest impression.

The Admiral commented it might not be the most hygienic method? The Chief suggested if the Admiral was worried, he might choose to skip the doughnuts 51160200_glazed-doughnuts_1x1.jpg

for (1).jpg

__74ad3fa44b53b436952b5ee255ef0fbe_width-300.jpeg