Thread: Jokes

Originally Posted by Homestar

Why does Norways Navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port they can..... Scandinavian....

Are you sure the norwegians can a fjord it?

Originally Posted by Toxic_Avenger

Are you sure the norwegians can a fjord it?

Are you getting in practice for when you're a dad Mitch ?

A 5' tall office clerk named Harold was catching the elevator, when tall muscular black man boards the lift.
The big guy sees the Harold the clerk staring at him, looks down extends his hand and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 10 inch penis, 1 pound left testicle, 1 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
Harold promptly faints and falls to the floor.

The black man kneels down and brings him back to conciousness, shaking him. The big guy says, "Are you OK? What's wrong with you?"
In a meek voice the Harold says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me? "
"I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 10 inch penis, my left testicle weighs 1 pound, my right testicle weighs 1 pound, and my name is Turner Brown."
"oh thank God" Harold cries, "I thought you said turn around!"

Originally Posted by Toxic_Avenger

Are you sure the norwegians can a fjord it?

Needs more than one like....

Originally Posted by Toxic_Avenger

Are you sure the norwegians can a fjord it?

Slartibartfast designed fjordability into the entire Coastline of Norway. I'm sure he had the Navy in mind the whole time.

2 atoms are walking along together. One says to the other "Oh no! I think just lost an electron."
"Are you sure?" The other replies.
"Yes, I'm positive..."

A local gay bar was burned to the ground last night. The blaze was attended by 80 firefighters.... along with 40 Red Indians, 30 Construction Workers and 20 Cowboys.

A flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately. “Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, and the man she is with, is a fat old slob who looks like a sexual deviant, mean and dangerous!” The captain responds, “You must be new here. This is Air Force One.”