Thread: Things I've learnt.....

Well, my fellow AULROians who enjoy a glass of wine, and those who don't and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand.
As Ben Franklin said:
"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, In water, there are bacteria."
In a number of carefully controlled trials, Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, At the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poo.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poo,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of ****.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service!

Grass catchers for lawn mowers make excellent roosting boxes for chckens. You can often get them free at tips too.

Sent from my GT-P5210 using AULRO mobile app

make good roosting boxes too - GRIN!

Originally Posted by gavinwibrow

make good roosting boxes too - GRIN!

Definitely a slip of the fingers. Ha! Fixed.

Sorry it has been so long...

I decided recently that there is too much sadness in the world...especially in our government and amongst the workers

so I decided to do something about it..
Today I have elected to go in and try to cheer everyone in the tax department by paying my taxes with a huge smile...

they kicked me out...
I learnt that apparently they want it paid with money..


I tried to cheer up, and a friend told me that "every day is a gift"
that being the case, where do I go to return "mondays"?

They said that I'm jaded,
so I old them I have the heart and mind of a young boy....
(its here in a jar on my desk)

and Ive learnt that if a man talks dirty to a woman it is sexual harrassment
but if a woman talks dirty to a man it costs $7.95 a minute!!

Boy I've been busy, sorry for not writing sooner. Its mad at my place, ever since my wife, (the minister for war and finance) is on a tropical food diet, the house is full of the stuff. Honestly it's enough to make a mango crazy.
I don't mind fruit but its just too much, I actually really dislike cheese but I have been told that
Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to dis a Brie?

That reminds me of a song.. (Im not sure why... maybe its the cheesy reference?)

Have you heard that new song on the radio about perforated paper?... Yeah, it's tear-able


To get away from all this stuff I decided it would be good to go camping. I tried Melrose but there were so many people camping I couldn't get my head clear, I thought I should go for a run to clear my head but 100 metres in Steve was yelling at me to stop!!

He asked what I was doing, I told him I was going for a run, thats when he told me "You can't run through a camp site,. You can only ran, because it's past tents."

I gave up, maybe reading something may help. So I settled down and read a book all about random facts..

Things like how early astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours. So they decided to call it a day.

Just read a few facts about frogs. They were ribbiting.
Heck I read so much that I reckon I can give you the cause of an anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.

Maybe a trip to the bush toilet may help clear my thoughts! I grabbed a shovel and walked into the trees, that hurt so I stopped and decided to walk between the trees.

Whilst walking I thought to myself that the shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
Suddenly a man loomed from the dark towards me, Headed to the toilet? He asked...

I said yes and he said to me that he hadn't been to the toilet for 2 years. I reckon that he's full of ****.

My mobile rang again, A lady from the furniture store keeps calling me. But all I wanted was the one night stand.

The phone has been annoying me since last week, A random email address keeps sending me loads of pictures advertising tinned meat. I hate spam.

Anyway , it was a busy day.... Just before his bedtime my young son came up and asked me "How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?"

I pondered on this for a while and finally answered ? You will see one later and one in a while?And sent him to bed...


Have a great day guys!
(feel free to join in)

Digger, you must love Ronnie Barker.

"In a number of carefully controlled trials, Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, At the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poo.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting"


The above only works of course if someone doesn't poo in your drink after the purification process. Although I concede that you are likely to notice a kilo , even at some of the barbeques I've been at.
cheers,
D