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Thread: Jokes

  1. 15th February 2021, 11:20 AM #6871
    Hogarthde
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    Hmmm, Ian , this is the joke section if you don’t mind .🤔
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  2. 15th February 2021, 01:38 PM #6872
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    I’m pretty sure the dinosaurs died out when they stopped gathering food and started having meetings to discuss gathering food

    A bookshop is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking
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  3. 15th February 2021, 05:16 PM #6873
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    Quote Originally Posted by V8Ian View Post
    As yesterday was St Valentine's Day, I got up very early and went for a ten kilometre run. When I got home I showered then tidied up the kitchen and lounge room and arranged the red roses I had bought the day before and hidden in the garage, into a vase. I then cooked a large breakfast for my Wife and surprisingly nothing went wrong and it was all ready together.

    I put it all on a tray and was just about to take it into the bedroom to surprise her when I woke up, so now I will never know how that dream would have ended.

    That is the story of my life, so I know how it feels. No really.
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  4. 16th February 2021, 09:59 AM #6874
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    Quote Originally Posted by V8Ian View Post
    As yesterday was St Valentine's Day, I got up very early and went for a ten kilometre run. When I got home I showered then tidied up the kitchen and lounge room and arranged the red roses I had bought the day before and hidden in the garage, into a vase. I then cooked a large breakfast for my Wife and surprisingly nothing went wrong and it was all ready together.

    I put it all on a tray and was just about to take it into the bedroom to surprise her when I woke up, so now I will never know how that dream would have ended.

    I can guarantee that it never ended in a bit of Nooky.
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  5. 16th February 2021, 11:23 AM #6875
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    Mostly Melbournians will get this

    Montague Street.jpg
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  6. 16th February 2021, 06:35 PM #6876
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    Quote Originally Posted by V8Ian View Post
    As yesterday was St Valentine's Day, I got up very early and went for a ten kilometre run. When I got home I showered then tidied up the kitchen and lounge room and arranged the red roses I had bought the day before and hidden in the garage, into a vase. I then cooked a large breakfast for my Wife and surprisingly nothing went wrong and it was all ready together.

    I put it all on a tray and was just about to take it into the bedroom to surprise her when I woke up, so now I will never know how that dream would have ended.
    I'm surprised you woke up at all after an effort like that.
    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.
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  7. 16th February 2021, 06:39 PM #6877
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeeJay View Post
    Montague Street.jpg
    That will never happen... They won't let the truck across the border.
    Cheers, Billy.
    Keeping it simple is complicated.
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  8. 16th February 2021, 08:28 PM #6878
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    Quote Originally Posted by Earthrover View Post
    For some reason the wife was dropping hints about buying her flowers at the weekend. I didnt know which to get so i bought her both plain and self raising.

    ........& all the time she wanted Corn Flour. No wonder she had a hump on.
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  9. 16th February 2021, 08:59 PM #6879
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    Quote Originally Posted by cuppabillytea View Post
    That will never happen... They won't let the truck across the border.


    Just reading about that infamous bridge. Cripes! What a history? I wonder why they didn't think to lower the roadway? It could have been much worse if the Rail Tracks were knocked out of alignment & a Train was derailed over the edge.


    Similar happened near here at Crafers on the freeway many years ago. Semi loaded with Steel work hit the Pedestrian bridge, killed the driver & his female companion who was getting a lift. I think they copped it when some of the the load went forward post impact, & crushed the cab.


    Can't recall the exact details now but they did lower the road surface a few feet. Job done.
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  10. 16th February 2021, 09:08 PM #6880
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    Why lower the road when we get endless enjoyment watching ****wits wedge their trucks under it. It’s only one block over for high vehicles - not that hard if you have more than a few brain cells. 😁👍
    If you need to contact me please email homestarrunnerau@gmail.com - thanks - Gav.
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