Thread: Jokes

A husband decided to spice things up by buying luminous condoms. Later that night one of the neighbours turned to his wife and said "That bloke across the road keeps opening and closing the fridge door".

Originally Posted by spudfan

A husband decided to spice things up by buying luminous condoms. Later that night one of the neighbours turned to his wife and said "That bloke across the road keeps opening and closing the fridge door".

I bet it didn't work after the rapid use of the light switch packed it in but magically recommenced at hourly intervals.

House arrest again, we're locked down and the sheep are panicking, which means no toilet paper.
So now we've switched to enviromentally friendly renewable lettuce leaves.
- And this is just the tip of the iceberg....

It was my wifes birthday yesterday, so I asked her out to somewhere expensive.
We had a choice of BP or Shell servo's...

Originally Posted by DeeJay

It was my wifes birthday yesterday, so I asked her out to somewhere expensive.
We had a choice of BP or Shell servo's...

In the days to come that may get you some decent Brownie Points.

Originally Posted by 4bee

In the days to come that may get you some decent Brownie Points.

Only if you took her car and filled it up Des$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Originally Posted by NavyDiver

Only if you took her car and filled it up Des$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I can vaguely recall the days when we drove in to the forecourt & said "Fill'er up Mate" & left them to it.

While the tank was being brimmed another geezer cleaned the screen & someone checked tyre pressures.\\\If

If they splashed juice on the paintwork they washed it off with a watering can.


Mind you, I am talking back in the days of Pterodactyls.


I'm afraid they are gone forever, the days & the Pterodactyls & the pump doesn't even speak to you & discuss the weather, footy or any small talk to pass the time before you paid in real money..

Yer know, LSD stuff

there's one in Longreach.